Hotel Books - Wooden Floorboards lyrics
rate meI have these voices in my brain and I created them and I hate them
But I ask them to stay, cause I have this fixation on death
This fixation on change, this fixation three years I grew out of pain
This fixation on sleep, this fixation on you and on me
But who could I be? I spent three years writing poems about
A fixation on the past, and she told me it was worth it
Because she told me it would last. But darling
I will hold my tongue as I hold you tight because forgetting
What you think love means is my sleeping pill every night
I remember when you woke up and screamed
'Maybe our love is just laced with LSD, because darling'
'I’m high on life and you’re just high on me'
And as I tried my best to read between the lines
Your lips shape words I try to interpret as lies
Only to see the devil behind deep inside the details
As Lucifer found his way back into retail, my dear
He sold us a product we didn’t want to buy
But we weren’t trying to be original, we just trying to survive
The voices in my brain telling me it’s all in my head
I will sleep with one eye open but I won’t sleep until I’m dead
Cause a fair assessment of a existence is an inconsistent realist vision
Of selfish antics reduced to survival of the fittest defined
By our ability to avoid those caring any sickness
And these whispers in my head intensify to raspy screams
Asking when my skull will explode so they can breathe
They know that no one has a voice when no one is listening
And the violent riot of staying silent or quiet is torturous
To those who need to hear something and that violence has its own sort of beauty
And you are my beauty, and you are my violent smile. And you are my violent prayer
And you’re not my oxygen but I breathe your air
Cuz these voices in my brain remind me of past mistakes, the beauty I found of being able to say
Look what I went through, I survived
But is survival living or is survival just a placeholder for a vacant
mind to cut off the threat to coincide with the soil while their blood boils
Cuz my biggest fear was never facing death or even facing what happens after
My biggest fear was never facing anything like that
My biggest fear was waking up in that coffin with all these voices chanting a chorus of remorse
a forced abort from the course I had chosen
And now I’m laying here frozen with fear staring up at a splintering
slab of wood paid for with my life savings buried beneath the earth that grew
the weeds that poisoned my families feet
What if I woke up and walked back home and it was like nothing had happened?
We left your room the way you left it
we just scrubbed the blood stains out of the carpet
we just rubbed the mud remains out your pockets
we just dubbed the tough claims out of your sonnets
We just evacuated your room and hoped you would too but
Your spirit haunted it too long so we boarded it up moved along
Snd watched it become a guest room
A place for the non-permanent inhabitants to exist in this home we created to raise our kid
That was my biggest fear, finding out something like that would happen
Cuz the memories have come with this, only cause everything else
To hurt deep inside of this dismissed feeling I feel
But sometimes you have to face the past
Maybe I’ve never faced death but if I were to walk away then what would I be?
These voices in my head, what would they say and what would they see?
Did I survive or am I cursed? Did I die or did I learn?
What if I woke up and nothing happened?
What if I never wake up? My dear, then what’s my purpose?
What if I woke up and nothing happened?
And darling, what if you woke up too?
