Hotel Books - Nothing Was The Same lyrics

rate me

I chose to believe every word I was fed & I thought the coals on

My back were a product of the lack u left when u stepped back

And racked ur brain for a reason to stay, but u could not seem

To formulate any such thought in ur head

So you left with nothin' more than a reason u kept silent

And my mind with riots stuck in self perpetuated mental violence

And dreams kept private

The ambition to fix this wish list of selfish misfit realist missions

Contained within a vision of wishful thinkin'

And sinkin' deep into a new bit of misproportioned emotions leakin'

Through a seepin' truth constructed by my need to feel important

When u would look back & think of all the lil things that you regret

I just want u to think of me when u think back

To all those lil things that u regret

I spent so much time convincin' myself that the rest

Of this mess that I stressed within this relationship was a product

Of the world’s oppression, not my deep desire to be needed

And it’s hard to admit but I guess I’ve come to terms with the fact

That I just want to be needed, & I convinced myself that I needed to be needed

And if that was true than I would still be smilin' like u still today but for different reasons

I chose to dismiss the possible instance that the lips

I luv to kiss could form the words goodbye & it was a simple lie

But I told you to & like the captain of a sinking ship choosing

To believe the bottom of the ocean was a better source of oxygen

It’s so nice I still chose to believe I misinterpreted ur dialect

And your diction & dietribe, posture, body language and connotations

Becos' they all pointed in the same direction the selection of contingent

Messages postponed until further notice becos' I was ashamed

To admit the problem and pretend ur happiness came from me

And that your happiness was important

But we aborted the sorted truths

We once distorted when I saw the shape of ur dress when you wore it

And that was enough until it wasn’t and that’s when u finally felt supported

So the others courted u and u mentally recorded and endorsed

The force perform of compliments u received when u felt empowered

Enough to take ur final bow & find luv within the arms of anotha

Instead of this heart of mine, & that’s fine becos' I would do the same

And I would leave me. Not becos' I’m useless and not

Because I’m broken, not becos' I’m sad & not becos' I’m worthless

But becos' I saw value in ur smile but not in your values, and I’m sorry

And I luv u, & that’s why I can finally sleep at night,

Becos you are free & u can thrive, and I’m just happy

I got to be apart of ur life. I’m just happy

I got to be apart of the journey that u call ur life

I finally feel fine becos' I spent so long trying to change you

Not realizing I was the one who needed to change. I was selfish

To assume u loved me more than u luv yoself even

Though I neva felt the same

And there’s so many things

That my selfishness tried to take away but u were the one

That was the hardest to watch walk away

But thank you for

Lettin' me be a part of everything that u were building

And creatin' and findin' truth & life and u were relatin'

To so much beauty, & I luv u, & I’m sorry

Thank u for lettin' me be a part of ur journey

Thank u for lettin' me be me

And thank u for settin' me free and showing me luv in its full capacity