Hotel Books - July (Part One) lyrics

rate me

I sat down with her and she told me her story

I told her I lover her and I just wanted to support her through her recovery

Through conversations, I listened and

I feel like this is the best way to interpret what she told me

The devil found clever way to infiltrate and bring his manipulation

A slender blonde in a cocktail dress strugglin' through the intoxication

Brought on by the giftin' of drinks until she was ready to payback in the bedroom

In the search to appease the demons in her head on a sterile surface in the bathroom

Looking into a half cracked half filthy mirror hopin'

She doesn’t reflect that half cracked and half filthy recedin'

Stain of a smile her mother made when she left because the promises

She made to herself seem to be the hardest ones to keep

And knowin' she survived the last storm was no longer

All she needed to be able to fall asleep

Vacant wine glasses and late night crashes symbolic of her

Vessel with no presentation at the pallet

But a spirit starvin' for remembrance some sort of legacy other than her occupation

Because her normal skin looked like silk but had been masked by vengeance

Baggage under her eyes deep within her overcompensatin' lies

And all she saw when she gazed into the endin' skies was regret

From that manipulation, this life of sleepin' through the static

Of practice for the eva lastin' rush she hoped for

She was somewhat ecstatic, but not for the first time

Becuz she was reminiscent of those times that she would have those

Late night drives, those moments when she would look back

And say 'how did I get here?'

Those moments when she would look at old childhood photos

And say 'how did that child grow up to be like this?'

When did I dismiss the morals that I subscribed to?

I don’t know what to do

And she looks at photos of her beautiful mother in her youth

And is envious of that smile she had when she was 22

And she wishes she could say the same for herself but she’s lived

In a self perpetuated hell

Becuz she took the literal stains and the literal scars

Aand turned them into the emotional drain and then she fell apart

And I’ve neva really been one for takin' second chances on times

That I’ve been broken but sometimes forgiveness needs to be put in place

For someone to actually grow from these negative emotions

And constructive use of the pain that’s thrown at u is the only way to find refuge

So I’m gonna tell u this darlin', every time u tell

Yoself that you’re not worth it, every time u tell yoself

That you’re worthless, you’re being lied to

And in that case, the liar is u