Horrible Histories - Mary Tudor Song lyrics

rate me

King Henry 8th my father hoped I have some Tudor brothers mum had no sons,

so rather I got plenty of step mothers when at last prince Ed was born the

crown I bid adieu they said as king he must be sworn boys go first in the

queue but there’s no worry if at first you don’t succeed when Ed died I

swept aside the rest and was decreed

Mary the first that’s me Tudor lady and queen of England not to be confused

with Mary queen of Scots not the same see though weirdly she’s a cousin to

me

Some tried to say Lady Jane Grey should be queen after Ed but England

wanted me hooray so poor Jane lost her head the Protestants were saying

that my ruling made them sick ‘cause when it comes to praying my tastes

were catholic they revolted, challenged me fuelled my great desire to tie

300 to a steak light touch paper then retire

Mary the first that’s me called the bloody queen of England not what I

intended tried to be good you see but history only remembers I was a

catastrophe

Married Phillip king of Spain who then left me England he thought was a

pain especially ‘cause he told me to attack France with troops and when the

French advanced we lost Calais oops through out my reign it rained and

rained it poured upon the poor the harvest failed no food remained and flu

killed many more burned Protestants and wed a fool led armies to defeat

burned more Prots I say more rule was short but not that sweet I had no

kids called half sis Liz as a big queen Bess to be so long as she would

rule the land as a catholic queen like me

Lizee didn’t listen she made the country Protestant meaning my legacy was

ruined see everything I tried to achieve went down the swanny

Bit embarrassing really