Horrible Histories - Dick Turpin lyrics

rate me

Everyone thinks they know the story

Of Dick Turpin's highway glory

But my past was far more gory

I was no saint

You think life is one big antic

My profession is romantic

Hate to be pedantic

But it ain't

As a butcher down in Essex

I was handy with a knife

Had a sideline as a poacher

Led a less than honest life

The notorious gang of Gregory

Liked my style and dedication

They signed me up and gave me

A real robber's education

We rampaged through the Essex farms

We stole and robbed and fought

But when the law came for us

I escaped and they got caught

I became a highwayman

Was daylight robbery

I was no prince charming

Nothing dandy about me

The truth is, I was violent

And with my good mate, Matt King

Robbed travellers at gunpoint

Money, watches, anything!

My horse it wasn't called Black Bess

Although that's what you've read

Was no romantic hero

Shot not one but two men dead

The legend that surrounds me

Misses out the crucial part

I was a ruthless killer

With a ruthless killer's heart

Was a vicious highwayman

A source of pain and tears

When you hear how my story ends

You won't believe your ears

I ran away to Yorkshire

Changed my name to John Palmer

Was sent to prison

After stealing chickens from a farmer

Wrote a letter to my family

A plea it did relate

The postman saw the envelope

And here's the twist of fate

He had taught me how to write

So he knew I'd lied

'That's not John Palmer's hand

That's Dick Turpin's! ' he cried!

Was a vicious highwayman

My crimes had brought me fame

Was stitched up by a postie

That's not glamourous... that's lame!

No more stand and deliver

You'll remember this, I hope

It's no fun hanging with highwaymen

When you're... hanging from a rope!