Horrible Histories - Caveman Love lyrics

rate me

'm just a lonely cavegirl

Searching for a date

Looking for cave romance

Or at least a caveman date

My momma says I must wait here

Until the moon is bright

With cakes, milk and honey as gifts for the Gods

Or as snack food for Mr. Right

Now crawl around three times

On your hands and knees

And if the face of a handsome man comes into view

Then he's your caveman love

I think I must look really silly

What caveman in his right mind would go for a crawling, circling cavegirl

Like -

Oh, are you the man for me?

My handsome caveman husband

Is all I'd hoped he would be

He likes to go out hunting

Then I cook it for his tea

I promise to love him forever

Until he's old and grey

He'll live to the grand age of thirty

At which point he'll probably pass away

But that doesn't mean you stop loving him

'Cause now you have to prepare

A burial to show how much you care

For your caveman love

First I set fire to my husband

Then carefully cut off his skin

Boil in a pot some oysters and snakes

Let the funeral begin

Drop in some limpets and winkles

And sprinkles of mouse, toad and shrew

Then put out the fire with the cauldron

And say au revoir to my caveman love

My caveman love

Caveman love.