Haystak - My First Day lyrics

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[Intro]

Sometimes I write about something, that like something I went through

Or something my people went through

And I felt like they needed some motivational shit

And it usually ends up going something like this...

[Chorus]

My first day, without you in my life

Things felt strange, a bit deranged

Even so, I hope you're doin okay

Take it slow, you just never know... ( just never know, oh!)

Yo, you just never know... nooo (just never know, oh!)

You just never know... nooo (just never know, oh!)

[Verse 1]

My systems caught in conniption, stomach in knots

Feedin for my medicine, overcoming addiction

The first step is quittin, nah the first steps admittin

I got a problem, I need help, this is something I can't beat myself

I almost felt like I can't be cured

Rehab won't take me cuz I ain't insured

Layin in the bath tub, shakin like a new born

Searchin for the courage it'll take for me to move on

I've been livin life like this way too long

Beggin God please, bring me home

I stopped before, three or four days

Always end up back in the same place

People call me a junkie, dope fiend

How they gonna judge me, they don't even know me

Lights off, wanna be left alone, I'm tryin to enjoy the methodone

Put a Jimi Hendrix record on, and excuse me while I kiss the sky

Dosed off, woke up, sick to my stomach, ran to the bathroom

Started to vomit, the methodone wore off and the withdrawal started

That first day was the hardest...

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]

Stayed strong, endured the rough weather

I ain't fully recovered but I'm doin much better

I can keep my food down to shakes and calms

They lowerin the doses of methodone

I eat V's and blow lots of dro

It's like chewin gum when you're tryin not to smoke

Keep my mind occupied, calm my nerves

It's not the same high, deep inside I...

Just want one more but I can't turn back this week for it

But I done made it, almost a month

With just a couple of V's and I blew some blunts

But that weed and gonna make me OD

That other shit was gonna kill me

Six weeks, and everything seem so clear

Before I knew it, time flew and I was clean for a year

Can't believe something started off socially

Something I almost allowed to take over me

Days went by and it was sixteen months

And I swear to God I didn't fall off once

I, feel like a brand new guy and I'm definetly livin a brand new life

Some days I still resist the thirst but none's worst than the first (believe

that)

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]

Two years and I ain't touched it

Got a lot done, I been so productive

Rebuilt, I was so constructive

Can't believe I was so self destructive

Got a good job and I make big bucks

Went to the lot and got a new pick up

Got a brand new crib and a brand new kid

I think anybody can quit if I did

If you wanna quit, get up and go get the shit

Walk straight to the toilet, drop it, flush it, fuck it, fight it

Just resist it and if this helps then just keep listenin

When you start slippin I'll send you another one

Sonny, wasup?, we just saved another one

I know it's so hard like there's no God

But through him you're able to go so far

Hey, I don't wanna sound corny

I'm just like you either hungry or horny

Seems as though we get hooked so easily

Quitting becomes an impossibility

I ain't sayin treat your body like a church

Just don't let dope put your body in a hearse

The streets inside you, you just gotta search

And know that no day be harder than the first

[Chorus]

[Outro]

Yo, all my people, goin through they thing

Whatever they thing may be

Just know, God got his hands on you

And he'll grant you the serenity

To change the things you can't

And you can change that, aight

Hold me down and I'ma hold you down... one