Harold Rome - Nobody Makes A Pass At Me lyrics
rate meI want men that I can please<br />
That I can squeeze, that I can tease<br />
Two or three or four or more<br />
What are those fools waiting for?<br />
I want love and I want kissing<br />
I want more of what I'm missing<br />
<br />
Nobody comes knocking at my front door<br />
What do they think my knocker's for?<br />
If they don't come soon there won't be anymore<br />
What can the matter be?<br />
<br />
I wash my clothes with Lux<br />
My etiquette's the best<br />
I spend my hard-earned bucks<br />
On just what the ads suggest<br />
Oh dear, what can the matter be?<br />
Nobody makes a pass at me<br />
<br />
I'm full of Kellogg's bran<br />
I eat grape nuts on the sly<br />
The date is on the can<br />
Of the coffee that I buy<br />
Oh dear, what can the matter be?<br />
Nobody makes a pass at me<br />
<br />
Oh, Beatrice Fairfax<br />
Give me the bare facts<br />
How do you make them fall?<br />
If you don't save me<br />
The things the Lord gave me<br />
Never will be any use to me at all<br />
<br />
I sprinkle on a dash<br />
Of Fragrance d'Amour<br />
The ads say 'Makes Men Rash'<br />
But I guess their smell is poor<br />
Oh dear, what can the matter be?<br />
Nobody makes a pass at me<br />
<br />
I use Ovaltine and Listerine<br />
Barbasol and Musterole<br />
Lifebuoy soap and Flit<br />
So why I not got it?<br />
<br />
I use Coca-Cola and Marmola<br />
Crisco, Lesco and Mazola<br />
Exlax and Vapex<br />
So why ain't I not got sex?<br />
<br />
I use Albolene and Maybelline<br />
Alka-Seltzer, Bromo-Seltzer<br />
Odorono and Sensation<br />
So why ain't I not got fascination?<br />
<br />
My Girdles come from Best<br />
The Times ads say 'They're Chick'<br />
And up above I'm dressed<br />
In the brassier of the week, oh<br />
Oh dear, what can the matter be?<br />
Nobody makes a pass at me<br />
<br />
I use Pond's on my skin<br />
With rye-crisp I have thinned<br />
I get my culture in<br />
I began 'Gone With The Wind'<br />
Oh dear, what can the matter be?<br />
Nobody makes a pass at me<br />
<br />
Oh Dorothy Dix<br />
Please, show me some tricks<br />
Please, I want some men to hold<br />
I want attention and things I can't mention<br />
And I want them all before I get too old<br />
<br />
I use Mum everyday and Angelus Liplure<br />
But still men stay away just like Ivory soap<br />
I'm 99 and 44, one hundred percent pure<br />
What can the matter be?<br />
Nobody makes a pass at me<br />
I don't know, oh dear
