Flirtations - The Homecoming Queen's Got A Gun lyrics
rate meJimmy<br />
"I grew up in a little town in Georgia, Columbus Georgia, to be<br />
Precise. Actually, in the 'One Of Us' section, we said one of us<br />
Ran away from home at fourteen, and that was me. I was tortured in<br />
School, I was the class fag. People were calling me 'faggot'<br />
Before I even knew what that word meant. Then I went and found out<br />
What it meant, and was like 'Oh, there's a name for it?' At the<br />
Time, I didn't find it amusing. I like to be honest about it now,<br />
Because I've expended an incredible amount of energy over the past<br />
Couple of... years, actually over my life, trying to pretend that<br />
That never happened to me, that that's not part of my life, that<br />
I've always been this cool. Huh, God. So, what I'd like to do<br />
Know actually is reach back to those roots that I have tried so<br />
Desperately to wipe out of my life, and share with you a fantasy<br />
From that period... it's more of a nightmare. I was so angry and,<br />
And confused, and lonely and miserable that most of my fantasies<br />
During that period of time sort of ran like the movie 'Carrie.'"<br />
It was Homecoming Night at my high school<br />
Everyone was there, it was bodaciously cool<br />
I was so excited, why, I almost wet my jeans<br />
'Cause my best friend Debbie was Homecoming Queen<br />
She looked so pretty in pink chiffon<br />
Riding the float with her tiara on<br />
Holding this humongous bouquet in her hand<br />
She looked straight out of Disneyland!<br />
Well, it was just like the Cinderella ride - it was definitely an<br />
'E' ticket!<br />
The crowd was cheering, everyone was stoked<br />
You know, I think it was like the whole school was totally coked<br />
out or something.<br />
The band was playing 'Evergreen'<br />
When all of a sudden, somebody screamed:<br />
"Oh my God, look out! The Homecoming Queen's got a GUN!!!"<br />
Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun!<br />
Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun!<br />
Debbie's smiling, and wiping her gun<br />
Picking off cheerleaders one by one<br />
Oh no! Muffy's pompons just blew to bits<br />
My God, Mitzi's head just did the splits!<br />
My best friend is on a shooting spree<br />
Stop it, Debbie, you're embarrassing me!<br />
How could you do what you just did -<br />
Are you having a really bad period?<br />
Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun!<br />
Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun!<br />
(Stop it, Debbie, you're making a mess<br />
Powder burns all over your dress<br />
Bloody bodies all over the quad<br />
Who'd have thought she'd be packing a rod!)<br />
An hour later, you know, the cops had arrived<br />
Oh, but by then the entire glee club had died - no big loss<br />
You wouldn't believe what they brought to stop<br />
Tear gas, machine guns... even a chopper!<br />
"Throw down your gun and tiara and come out of that float!"<br />
Debbie didn't listen to what the cop said,<br />
No, she aimed and fired, and now the math teacher's dead!<br />
Oh, it's really sad, but, you know, it's kind of a relief,<br />
You see, we had this big test coming up next week...<br />
Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun!<br />
Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun!<br />
(Debbie's really having a blast!<br />
She's wasted half of the class!)<br />
The cops fired a warning shot and she dove off that float<br />
I tried to scream "Duck!" but it stuck in my throat<br />
She hit the ground and did a flip; it was real acrobatic<br />
But I was crying so hard, I couldn't work my Instamatic.<br />
I ran down to Debbie, I had to find out, like,<br />
What made her do it, why'd she freak out?<br />
I saw the bullet had grazed her... right about here.<br />
I knew then... the end was near.<br />
And I... As... Do y'all mind?<br />
So as the SWAT team and a gaggle of hall monitors escorted her from<br />
The field, I ran alongside, and I said to her, "Debbie! Debbie,<br />
Why did you do it? Why did you do it?" She just smiled at me and<br />
Said, "I did it for Lonnie." "Lonnie? Debbie, who's Lonnie?<br />
There aren't even any boys in our school named Lonnie. There is<br />
Ms. Wilson, the wood shop teacher.... Oh my God, Debbie is that<br />
Why you spent all that time makin' those tacky birdhouses instead<br />
Of being in the Future Homemakers of America with me?" It was too<br />
Late for answers. And as the SWAT team roared off into the sunset,<br />
I, I surveyed the gruesome scene before me. The ruins of that<br />
Beautiful chicken-wire-and-crepe-paper 'V-for-Victory' that the Pep<br />
Club had worked so hard on... And then it hit me. It's still<br />
Homecoming Week. We can't have a Homecoming Game without a<br />
Homecoming Queen. It was then I knew what I must do. So I<br />
Retrieved her tiara from where it had fallen and I placed it<br />
Lovingly upon my head, willing to assume the awesome burden of<br />
Homecoming Queen, eager to rule with a firm, yet sensitive hand...<br />
All right, boys, sing it for me!<br />
Everybody scream, the Homecoming Queen is a queen!<br />
He's a queen, he's a queen, he's a queen, he's a queen.<br />
Ahhhhhhh, a big old queen!
