Family Guy movie - All Cartoons are Fuckin' Dicks lyrics
rate me<br>
Peter:<br>
On Monday I had drinks with Barney Rubble<br>
We hit a couple divy little bars <br>
We noticed there was quite a lovely lady<br>
Sitting at the table next to ours<br>
Now Barney, who was pretty friggin' wasted<br>
Got up and stumbled over with a groan<br>
He said: "Hey, just between us, my neanderthalic <br>
penis is as massive as a stegosaurus bone!”<br>
<br>
All Cartoons are fuckin' dicks<br>
They get their kicks from being pricks<br>
It's a quirk, we just can't fix<br>
'Cause all cartoons are fuckin' dicks<br>
<br>
Meg: “Did Barney really say that?” <br>
Peter: “Oh, yeah! He is a bastard.”<br>
Lois: “Wow!”<br>
Peter: “An-And he really does not give a damn about the feelings of women! <br>
Ah, aah.. it's Sad! It's really sad...”<br>
Brian: “Well you think that's bad, listen to this…”<br>
<br>
One day I met an ape of great charisma<br>
Magilla the Gorilla was his name<br>
He wore a little hat and matching bowtie<br>
A fashion witch has brought him great acclaim<br>
I said: "What do you see as your career-peak? <br>
Of all your many flashy escapades.”<br>
He said: "Well this is funky, <br>
but you're looking at the monkey who’s responsible for bringing you the AIDS. “<br>
<br>
All Cartoons are fuckin' dicks<br>
They get their kicks from being pricks<br>
It's a quirk, we just can't fix<br>
'Cause all cartoons are fuckin' dicks<br>
<br>
Peter: “So he’s the cold prick?”<br>
Stewie: “I say that is just awful!”<br>
Lois: “Okay, okay! Listen to this little gin…”<br>
<br>
I had a conversation at a party<br>
With famous Rabbit Hunter Elmer Fudd<br>
He told me I just had to see his rifle<br>
And dropped it at the table with a thud<br>
I said to him: “It’s quite a lovely firearm.”<br>
He told me his fiancé likes it to<br>
He said: “This maybe corny but it really gets me horny when <br>
I press it to her temple while we screw!”<br>
<br>
All Cartoons are fuckin' dicks<br>
They get their kicks from being pricks<br>
It's a quirk, we just can't fix<br>
'Cause all cartoons are fuckin' dicks<br>
<br>
Peter: “Aw, God! That is one sick bastard!”<br>
Stewie: “Euw, you’re not kidding?”<br>
Brian: “Yeah, that… eeh… that stuff’s kinda’ against the law to, I think.”<br>
Chris: “Well, I got one that’s even worse than that…”<br>
<br>
On Friday-night I went to get some candy<br>
Some soda and some chips and other stuff<br>
Along the way I passed a little alley<br>
And there I saw that K-9 called McGruff<br>
I said to him: “Hey! You’re that famous crime dog!”<br>
He said: <br>
“I only work from nine to five! And now it’s close “ten-ish” and I <br>
got a job to finish ‘cause as you can see this hooker’s still alive!”<br>
<br>
All Cartoons are fuckin' dicks<br>
They get their kicks from being pricks<br>
It's a quirk, we just can't fix<br>
'Cause all cartoons are fuckin' dicks<br>
<br>
Meg: “That’s awful!”<br>
Stewie: “Uh! Imagine McGruff beating up hookers!”<br>
Peter: “He is a dick… He is a DICK!”<br>
Stewie: “Yes, yes! He’s a nasty Cartoon, but I can top that… Listen to this!”<br>
<br>
One day as I was strolling through the forest<br>
I happened on some mushroom covered turf<br>
And there from underneath a patro-fungus<br>
Emerged the one and only Papa Smurf<br>
He said: “This is our secret mushroom village!”<br>
I said: “Then I’m the first to see these views?”<br>
He said: “I’m only kidding, ‘cause we only keep it hidden from the Asians, <br>
Adams, Faggots, Blacks and Jews!”<br>
<br>
All Cartoons are fuckin' dicks<br>
They get their kicks from being pricks<br>
It's a quirk, we just can't fix<br>
'Cause all cartoons are fuckin' dicks<br>
<br>
Lois: “That Papa Smurf sounds like a monster!”<br>
Stewie: “Oh, he’s a dirty, nasty racist and a bigot and homophobe, <br>
and do you know what I did when I got home?”<br>
Brian: “What?”<br>
Stewie: “I called up Gargamel and I told him where the village is!”<br>
<br>
[LAUGHTER]<br>
<br>
Peter: “That’s sweeeeet…”<br>
Meg: “Can I go next?”<br>
Lois: “Of course, sweetie!”<br>
Meg: “One day I met a…-”<br>
Peter: “Holy crap! Look who’s here, it’s Jason Alexander!”<br>
JA: “Hey, Cartoon-haters!”<br>
Meg: “B-but I was supposed to go next!”<br>
Lois: “Quiet, honey! Mr. Alexander wants to talk!”<br>
JA: “I couldn’t help overhearing what you were talking about and I agree. <br>
Cartoons are real fucking assholes!”<br>
Brian: “Yeah, that’s sorta’ what we’ve been trying to communicate.”<br>
JA: “Well, get a load of this!”<br>
Peter: “(Laughing) He said load!!”<br>
Lois: “(Laughing) I know! I heard!”<br>
<br>
I once met Scooby-Doo at a première bash<br>
He looked a little haggard and he stunk<br>
He said: “The trouble started last December. <br>
When Daphne made a pass while she was drunk.”<br>
And now he’s got a child out of wedlock<br>
It’s dealing his career a fatal blow<br>
I asked him: “Where’s the baby?”<br>
He said: “Jason, buddy, maybe now you see why fuckin’ Scrappy’s gotta go!”<br>
<br>
All Cartoons are fuckin' dicks<br>
They get their kicks from being pricks<br>
It's a quirk, we just can't fix<br>
'Cause all cartoons are fuckin' dicks<br>
<br>
Peter: “Wow, Scrappy is the bastard child of Scooby and Daphne?”<br>
JA: “Shocking isn’t it?”<br>
Peter: “Yeah! Hey, you douche bags wanna wrap this up?”<br>
<br>
[CHOIR SINGING]<br>
<br>
So let us now leave you with one suggestion<br>
A bit of wisdom you can take for free<br>
‘Cause the Micky’s and the Goofy’s and the Daffy’s<br>
Are not the gentle souls they seem to be<br>
So anytime Sylvester catches Tweety<br>
Or Tom has got poor Jerry in a fix<br>
(He’s in a fix!)<br>
Sit back and just observe it;<br>
‘Cause the little shits deserve it<br>
FOR ALL CARTOONS ARE FUCKIN’ DICKS!<br>
<br>
Stewie:<br>
“So! When do we get to the ‘off-color’ part of the album?”<br>
<br>
<br>
