I spotted Miss World too good to be true<br />
But the club was pretty dark and I'd had quite a few<br />
I stagger to her table sipping my brew<br />
But just as I get there she goes to the loo<br />
Impatient bastard now what do I do?<br />
Then I cop her friend and she's alright too<br />
Her arse in good shape above average boat<br />
I ask her name, she sticks 'er tongue down my throat<br />
I'm not one to gloat or boast but take note<br />
Twenty minutes gone and she's getting her coat<br />
So I down my beer – my boys start to cheer<br />
Grin across my face runs from here to here<br />
She gives me the look and I mean the look<br />
Was it love a first sight man or somethin' she took?<br />
A swagger in my step like a crook, then I think<br />
The girl looks shook she's had too much to drink<br />
I look at her eyeballs to see if they're pink<br />
But I don't get a chance cos she gives me a wink<br />
So travel to hers in an illegal cab<br />
Plus I know she's a student her house is drab<br />
In my head I'm laughing, I've put the graft in<br />
Stereos playing some timeless Marvin<br />
The lights dim down and the clothes come off<br />
But I pass out, cos her pillow's too soft<br />
<br />
Chrous [x2]<br />
I don't want<br />
(No no no no)<br />
To be true<br />
(No no no no)<br />
I don't want<br />
To make love to you<br />
<br />
I'm up the next mornin, but where the hell's this<br />
I'm trapped in girly purple abyss<br />
It's proving costly she took me hostage<br />
First things first man where's the Frosties?<br />
I slowly tiptoe towards the door<br />
But she grabs my left arm like I've broken the law<br />
Now who am I kidding, I aint her guest<br />
But she playing like she got me under house arrest<br />
She starts with a speech about how she's feeling<br />
But I'm more intrigued by her lilac ceiling<br />
Any time now there's a question pending<br />
She wants to confirm a romantic ending<br />
Why do they charm you with Hocus Pocus?<br />
I gotta get home for the Football Focus<br />
To dodge small talk I admit defeat<br />
Er how are you for dinner love Tuesday week?<br />
<br />
Chrous [x2]<br />
I don't want<br />
(No no no no)<br />
To be true<br />
(No no no no)<br />
I don't want<br />
To make love to you<br />
<br />
As we waited at the bus stop she wanted a cab<br />
But I made her see sense with the gift of the gab<br />
A cab's 20 quid and that's money for us<br />
Plus it's it's one nugget each on the 220 bus<br />
There's one little issue that we gotta address<br />
I got just enough cash for a Pizza express<br />
Even though she's wants Thai Chilli Beef with Mango<br />
I'd be content with some wings from Nandos<br />
We get to express but before we can order<br />
She starts with a tirade that I never call her<br />
I say I'm tryna keep my phone bills smaller'<br />
Try and change the subject- 'have you got taller?'<br />
'Don't gimme that, that's a loada tosh'<br />
She says words like that she's a little bit posh<br />
'All I want El is a call at lunches'<br />
As she keeps ranting the waiter approaches<br />
'Be honest you want this to work or not?'<br />
'Er, doughballs please and an American Hot'<br />
'I'm talking geezer I want to know please'<br />
'She'll have a Caesar with no anchovies -<br />
And two Peronis' he makes a note<br />
I look back at her and she's getting her coat<br />
She heads for the door like a spoilt adult<br />
More food for me ay what a result! <br />
<br />
I don't want<br />
<br />
Chrous [x2]<br />
I don't want<br />
(No no no no)<br />
To be true<br />
(No no no no)<br />
I don't want<br />
To make love to you