Example - Birthday Card lyrics
rate meI was on my last warning from Mrs Example, <br />
Clean up my act stop being an asshole, <br />
Didn't help my debacle, <br />
I'd just woken up from an all day, all night, filthy (barkle), <br />
Something quite (bait) about today's date, <br />
I'd was hard to locate I'd drunk too much Pernod, <br />
Took another swipe with my Mach 3 Turbo, <br />
Then it hit me like a raging inferno.<br />
<br />
I don't believe it I, <br />
Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />
She wont be a happy gal, <br />
Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />
She's gonna scream and yell, <br />
Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />
She'll leave me man, she might as well, <br />
Forgot her bloody birthday card.<br />
<br />
I try to keep things relative, <br />
Never give (?) to myself if I can, <br />
But I can only think negative, <br />
Used to tell her shit like I'd lost my pen, <br />
Now there's a chance I'll never see her face again, <br />
So I walk a fine line, but it's not the end, <br />
See I bought her a voucher for H and M, <br />
She can get a new skirt and she'll look the part, <br />
And if it don't work pour out my heart, <br />
<br />
Look, yeah, I'm going to be completely honest with you, <br />
You know I love you, you know I respect you, <br />
At the end of the day, a birthday card, <br />
It's just a piece of paper isn't it?<br />
In an envelope.<br />
Yeah I know a voucher is a piece of paper too, <br />
Yeah, but you can get a skirt with that, <br />
Well you can get shoes then.<br />
<br />
Wait, nah that's bullshit, <br />
I can't do that, <br />
Can't sound like a wanker, (a girly chat), <br />
So I gotta make a dash for the petrol station, <br />
Cause their cards are perfect for any occasion, <br />
I drop my razor and splash my (boat), <br />
I grab some tracky-d's and a random coat, <br />
Then I'm on it with a wallet, <br />
And I hit the pavement, <br />
I'm running down the street with my face half shaven, <br />
<br />
I'm getting stronger and stronger my legs are burning, <br />
There's still hope yet just a couple of turn-in's, <br />
See the longer I wander the more I scream, <br />
She gets here at 10 and it's quarter to.<br />
<br />
I don't believe it I, <br />
Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />
She wont be a happy gal, <br />
Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />
She's gonna scream and yell, <br />
Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />
She'll leave me man, she might as well, <br />
Forgot her bloody birthday card.<br />
<br />
I get to the garage, <br />
Panic scanning the rack, <br />
99 percent of the range is all crap, <br />
Happy Birthday Dad, Worlds Best Mother, <br />
I Love You Sister, You're a Special Brother, <br />
No other bloody card with a cover for a lover, <br />
Plus I'm getting kinda stressed as I search for another, <br />
But this one struck me, <br />
It's pink and funky, <br />
With a cartoon print of a drunken monkey.<br />
<br />
There's a chance I'll make it I'm nearly done, <br />
I hand him the coins and it's time to run, <br />
Now it's 5 minutes too and I'm nearly home, <br />
I feel a vibration and check my phone.<br />
<br />
The message reads, "Honey, I'll be there shortly", <br />
"I just got off the bus and I've started walking", <br />
So like Kelly Holmes I sprint the home straight, <br />
I rip my tracky-d's as I hurdle the gate, <br />
I crash through the door, I fall up the stairs, <br />
Looking like I've been in intensive care, <br />
The Biro's f**ked, the pencil's broken, <br />
I grab a Magic Marker and write a token, <br />
Of my appreciation for her, <br />
And the things that make her so per-fect, <br />
S**t, there's the bell, <br />
I seal the envelope it should all be swell, <br />
Look, here she is, my Kiera Knightly, <br />
She gives me a kiss and I hug her tightly, <br />
She asks why I've only shaved half my face, <br />
And sweating like I've just come first in some race, <br />
<br />
I got up extra early, <br />
To exercise and stretch my thighs, <br />
So I could see my special girly, <br />
She looks in my eyes and sees my lies, <br />
With a dubious face she accepts the card, <br />
She reads it, drops it and slaps me hard, <br />
I open it up and prepare for doom, <br />
The text in the card reads Get Well Soon.<br />
<br />
I don't believe it I, <br />
Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />
She wont be a happy gal, <br />
Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />
She's gonna scream and yell, <br />
Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />
She'll leave me man, she might as well, <br />
Forgot her bloody birthday card.<br />
<br />
Ok, I admit, yeah, I messed up big time, <br />
But have I got a surprise for you?<br />
Yep, nah man, wait for it, <br />
I booked us a table, <br />
At Nandos, <br />
No ser... where you going?, <br />
Serious, where you going?, <br />
It's only a card!
