Example

Example - Birthday Card lyrics

rate me

I was on my last warning from Mrs Example, <br />

Clean up my act stop being an asshole, <br />

Didn't help my debacle, <br />

I'd just woken up from an all day, all night, filthy (barkle), <br />

Something quite (bait) about today's date, <br />

I'd was hard to locate I'd drunk too much Pernod, <br />

Took another swipe with my Mach 3 Turbo, <br />

Then it hit me like a raging inferno.<br />

<br />

I don't believe it I, <br />

Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />

She wont be a happy gal, <br />

Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />

She's gonna scream and yell, <br />

Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />

She'll leave me man, she might as well, <br />

Forgot her bloody birthday card.<br />

<br />

I try to keep things relative, <br />

Never give (?) to myself if I can, <br />

But I can only think negative, <br />

Used to tell her shit like I'd lost my pen, <br />

Now there's a chance I'll never see her face again, <br />

So I walk a fine line, but it's not the end, <br />

See I bought her a voucher for H and M, <br />

She can get a new skirt and she'll look the part, <br />

And if it don't work pour out my heart, <br />

<br />

Look, yeah, I'm going to be completely honest with you, <br />

You know I love you, you know I respect you, <br />

At the end of the day, a birthday card, <br />

It's just a piece of paper isn't it?<br />

In an envelope.<br />

Yeah I know a voucher is a piece of paper too, <br />

Yeah, but you can get a skirt with that, <br />

Well you can get shoes then.<br />

<br />

Wait, nah that's bullshit, <br />

I can't do that, <br />

Can't sound like a wanker, (a girly chat), <br />

So I gotta make a dash for the petrol station, <br />

Cause their cards are perfect for any occasion, <br />

I drop my razor and splash my (boat), <br />

I grab some tracky-d's and a random coat, <br />

Then I'm on it with a wallet, <br />

And I hit the pavement, <br />

I'm running down the street with my face half shaven, <br />

<br />

I'm getting stronger and stronger my legs are burning, <br />

There's still hope yet just a couple of turn-in's, <br />

See the longer I wander the more I scream, <br />

She gets here at 10 and it's quarter to.<br />

<br />

I don't believe it I, <br />

Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />

She wont be a happy gal, <br />

Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />

She's gonna scream and yell, <br />

Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />

She'll leave me man, she might as well, <br />

Forgot her bloody birthday card.<br />

<br />

I get to the garage, <br />

Panic scanning the rack, <br />

99 percent of the range is all crap, <br />

Happy Birthday Dad, Worlds Best Mother, <br />

I Love You Sister, You're a Special Brother, <br />

No other bloody card with a cover for a lover, <br />

Plus I'm getting kinda stressed as I search for another, <br />

But this one struck me, <br />

It's pink and funky, <br />

With a cartoon print of a drunken monkey.<br />

<br />

There's a chance I'll make it I'm nearly done, <br />

I hand him the coins and it's time to run, <br />

Now it's 5 minutes too and I'm nearly home, <br />

I feel a vibration and check my phone.<br />

<br />

The message reads, "Honey, I'll be there shortly", <br />

"I just got off the bus and I've started walking", <br />

So like Kelly Holmes I sprint the home straight, <br />

I rip my tracky-d's as I hurdle the gate, <br />

I crash through the door, I fall up the stairs, <br />

Looking like I've been in intensive care, <br />

The Biro's f**ked, the pencil's broken, <br />

I grab a Magic Marker and write a token, <br />

Of my appreciation for her, <br />

And the things that make her so per-fect, <br />

S**t, there's the bell, <br />

I seal the envelope it should all be swell, <br />

Look, here she is, my Kiera Knightly, <br />

She gives me a kiss and I hug her tightly, <br />

She asks why I've only shaved half my face, <br />

And sweating like I've just come first in some race, <br />

<br />

I got up extra early, <br />

To exercise and stretch my thighs, <br />

So I could see my special girly, <br />

She looks in my eyes and sees my lies, <br />

With a dubious face she accepts the card, <br />

She reads it, drops it and slaps me hard, <br />

I open it up and prepare for doom, <br />

The text in the card reads Get Well Soon.<br />

<br />

I don't believe it I, <br />

Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />

She wont be a happy gal, <br />

Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />

She's gonna scream and yell, <br />

Forgot her bloody birthday card, <br />

She'll leave me man, she might as well, <br />

Forgot her bloody birthday card.<br />

<br />

Ok, I admit, yeah, I messed up big time, <br />

But have I got a surprise for you?<br />

Yep, nah man, wait for it, <br />

I booked us a table, <br />

At Nandos, <br />

No ser... where you going?, <br />

Serious, where you going?, <br />

It's only a card!

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