Elephant

Elephant - Sunken Shores Of Fatal Symmetry lyrics

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What naivete could have caused such desecration? <br />

One autumnal night I detached and buried myself<br />

I drove out the sun and killed all growth<br />

And worshipped the trauma that scarred my destiny<br />

I became guilts, phobias, neuroses, compulsions<br />

Gifted with wings yet lacking knowledge of their use<br />

Mundane expectations and the sheen of despair<br />

Potential ruined by terrible circumstance<br />

<br />

Almost a year is lost and there are more days ahead<br />

Whilst my own limbs become cumbersome and weary<br />

Delusional, pathetic, spastic, and limp<br />

Repressing conflict and ineluctable meltdown<br />

<br />

Denying emotion, pleasure becomes routine<br />

Sweltering, stifling, blighting decrepitude<br />

Disguised by layers of useless humor<br />

My laughter is hateful to deprecate the optimist<br />

<br />

All my heroes are dead if they ever existed<br />

Retreating into patterns of defensive isolation<br />

The narcotic apathy of daydreams and fantasy<br />

And the pain is overwhelming<br />

<br />

I am not a philosopher but a narcissist in a fugue state<br />

Vapors of the past normalize into my ghosts<br />

I framed the walls and mountains that enclose my sanity<br />

Suffocating the senses and the instincts of power<br />

<br />

Adapting to the dark I became anxious of the light<br />

Movements slow and fragile, eyes dull as a mask<br />

Reacting to abandonment by abandoning myself<br />

A derelict child upon gargantuan shores<br />

<br />

Submerged within a delayed mind, alone with my hostility<br />

Only to guess at the depths of the caldera<br />

Hiding in hurts, using them as an excuse<br />

The cringing incongruity, the victim on display<br />

<br />

Incapable of even sleep<br />

Memories of joy are forgotten<br />

Embalmed by my own lies<br />

Driven to the point of honesty, I surrender<br />

<br />

I can no longer suspend my disbelief<br />

No one touches me to validate my existence<br />

I'm sick of living underwater<br />

I want my humanity back!!! <br />

<br />

This is not my paradise<br />

Creativity channeled into madness<br />

Frozen on the critical moment<br />

Reliving failure in quiet rot<br />

This should not be happening to me<br />

Insane because I turned my back on her<br />

All I can do is exploit my wounds<br />

Dying in a vacuum of loneliness<br />

<br />

I must not drown in my own intellect<br />

Tides of extinction below the psyche<br />

Dreams of genocide fade as fear dissolves<br />

Capable of more devices than destruction<br />

I want to stomp and prance in affirmation<br />

Spiders at the gate of an inner world<br />

Damaged, broken, obsessed<br />

I will be with her again

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