DON HENLEY - If Dirt Were Dollars lyrics

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Walkin' like a millionaire<br>Smilin' like a king<br>He leaned his shopping cart against the wall<br>He said, I been a lot of places<br>And I seen a lot of things<br>But, sonny, I seen one thing that beats 'em all<br>I was flyin' back from lubbock<br>I saw jesus on the plane<br>...or maybe it was elvis<br>You know, they kinda look the same<br>Hey, look out, junior, you're steppin' on my bed<br>I said, I don't see nothin<br>He just glared at me and said,<br>If dirt were dollars<br>If dirt were dollars<br>If dirt were dollars<br>I wouldn't worry anymore<br>Lookin' like a beauty queen<br>Loyal as a wife<br>She raised her little voice and testified,<br>I am a good girl<br>I've been one all my life<br>But her virtue was as swollen as her pride<br>She should've had the oscar<br>She must have been miscast<br>Her fifteen minutes went by so fast<br>I said, now, baby, have you got no shame? <br>She just looked at me, uncomprehendingly<br>Like cows at a passing train<br>If dirt were dollars<br>If dirt were dollars<br>If dirt were dollars<br>I wouldn't worry anymore<br>We got the bully pulpit<br>And the poisoned pen<br>We got a press no better<br>Than the public men<br>This brave new world<br>Gone bad again<br>God's finest little creatures<br>Looking brave and strong<br>Whistling past the graveyard<br>Nothing can go wrong<br>Quoting from the scriptures<br>With patriotic tears<br>We got the same old men<br>With the same old fears<br>Standing at attention<br>Wrapped in stars and stripes<br>They hear the phantom drummers<br>And the nonexistent pipes<br>These days the buck stops nowhere<br>No one takes the blame<br>But evil is still evil<br>In anybody's name<br>If dirt were dollars<br>If dirt were dollars<br>If dirt were dollars<br>We'd all be in the black