Dirty Rotten Scoundrels movie

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels movie - All About Ruprecht lyrics

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<br>

LAWRENCE<br>

You see, my dear-<br>

<br>

Every royal family, by its nature,<br>

Has a sort of price that it must pay.<br>

Every noble lineage has<br>

One loose gene-<br>

Small as a molecule,<br>

Flitting 'round the family pool.<br>

It's the sort of thing<br>

One sees in Appalachia<br>

<br>

Or in the odd inbred bichon frise.<br>

It really can be such a <br>

Nasty stain on the escutcheon<br>

When a wisp of DNA<br>

Begins to fray, then goes astray.<br>

Caligula had the tempre,<br>

The Hapburgs had the chin.<br>

George the Third went cuckoo-bird<br>

And Nero had that violin-<br>

<br>

Richard, you'll remember,<br>

Had the himp and<br>

The withered limb.<br>

<br>

The Bushes of Tex<br>

Were nervous wrecks<br>

Because their son was dim,<br>

But look what happened to him.<br>

Alas, our family also<br>

Carries a bit of a curse <br>

But darling, it could be<br>

A great deal worse.<br>

<br>

Thus ends the verse.<br>

<br>

Ruprecht's all about<br>

Sun and soda-pop,<br>

Paws on puppy-dogs, candy-canes,<br>

Ruprecht's all about<br>

Chocolate bunnies and<br>

Lazy afternoons and daisy-chains.<br>

<br>

With a little brother like this<br>

You can't help but have <br>

A happy home.<br>

With style upon grace<br>

And a smile upon his face<br>

And all that's missing is a <br>

chromosome.<br>

But Ruprecht's all about<br>

Hugs and Valentines<br>

That's why people all say<br>

Hey Ruprecht-<br>

You're really okay!<br>

<br>

Isn't he adorable?<br>

<br>

Ruprecht's all about hugs and<br>

valentines-<br>

<br>

RUPREHT<br>

-Milkshake enemas-<br>

<br>

LAWRENCE<br>

-Fun and play.<br>

Ruprecht's all about-<br>

<br>

RUPRECHT<br>

-Burmese belly-rubs,<br>

Fresh-shaved testicles<br>

On Christmas day.<br>

<br>

LAWRENCE<br>

With a smile that's a mile and a half<br>

And a laugh and a hearty<br>

'Howdja do?<br>

<br>

RUPRECHT<br>

Howdja do!<br>

<br>

LAWRENCE<br>

It's a cinch that we will be <br>

A happy family,<br>

One plus one plus one-<br>

<br>

RUPRECHT<br>

-Makes two!<br>

<br>

Ruprecht's crazy 'bout taxidermy<br>

And KY Jelly on a rubber glove!<br>

<br>

LAWRENCE<br>

So give him a chance or three,<br>

Let him get to know you<br>

And you'll agree<br>

That Ruprecht's...<br>

All about love.<br>

<br>

Who's the happy chappy with the<br>

ulcerated ear?<br>

<br>

JOLENE<br>

Ruprecht?<br>

<br>

LAWRENCE<br>

Who stays awake all night<br>

hollering out with fear?<br>

<br>

JOLENE<br>

Ruprecht?<br>

<br>

LAWRENCE<br>

Who likes to spend every<br>

Saturday at the abattoir?<br>

Who gets the cattle-prod if he tries<br>

to hump the samovar?<br>

Who likes to save up all his farts<br>

in a Mason jar?'<br>

<br>

You guessed it-<br>

<br>

LAWRENCE/FREDDY/ENSEMBLE<br>

It's Ruprecht,<br>

My buddy Ruprecht-<br>

<br>

LAWRENCE<br>

I like him-<br>

<br>

LAWRENCE/FREDDY/ENSEMBLE<br>

Ruprecht-<br>

<br>

LAWRENCE<br>

And that's about all.<br>

<br>

<br>

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