Dirty Rotten Scoundrels movie - All About Ruprecht lyrics
rate me<br>
LAWRENCE<br>
You see, my dear-<br>
<br>
Every royal family, by its nature,<br>
Has a sort of price that it must pay.<br>
Every noble lineage has<br>
One loose gene-<br>
Small as a molecule,<br>
Flitting 'round the family pool.<br>
It's the sort of thing<br>
One sees in Appalachia<br>
<br>
Or in the odd inbred bichon frise.<br>
It really can be such a <br>
Nasty stain on the escutcheon<br>
When a wisp of DNA<br>
Begins to fray, then goes astray.<br>
Caligula had the tempre,<br>
The Hapburgs had the chin.<br>
George the Third went cuckoo-bird<br>
And Nero had that violin-<br>
<br>
Richard, you'll remember,<br>
Had the himp and<br>
The withered limb.<br>
<br>
The Bushes of Tex<br>
Were nervous wrecks<br>
Because their son was dim,<br>
But look what happened to him.<br>
Alas, our family also<br>
Carries a bit of a curse <br>
But darling, it could be<br>
A great deal worse.<br>
<br>
Thus ends the verse.<br>
<br>
Ruprecht's all about<br>
Sun and soda-pop,<br>
Paws on puppy-dogs, candy-canes,<br>
Ruprecht's all about<br>
Chocolate bunnies and<br>
Lazy afternoons and daisy-chains.<br>
<br>
With a little brother like this<br>
You can't help but have <br>
A happy home.<br>
With style upon grace<br>
And a smile upon his face<br>
And all that's missing is a <br>
chromosome.<br>
But Ruprecht's all about<br>
Hugs and Valentines<br>
That's why people all say<br>
Hey Ruprecht-<br>
You're really okay!<br>
<br>
Isn't he adorable?<br>
<br>
Ruprecht's all about hugs and<br>
valentines-<br>
<br>
RUPREHT<br>
-Milkshake enemas-<br>
<br>
LAWRENCE<br>
-Fun and play.<br>
Ruprecht's all about-<br>
<br>
RUPRECHT<br>
-Burmese belly-rubs,<br>
Fresh-shaved testicles<br>
On Christmas day.<br>
<br>
LAWRENCE<br>
With a smile that's a mile and a half<br>
And a laugh and a hearty<br>
'Howdja do?<br>
<br>
RUPRECHT<br>
Howdja do!<br>
<br>
LAWRENCE<br>
It's a cinch that we will be <br>
A happy family,<br>
One plus one plus one-<br>
<br>
RUPRECHT<br>
-Makes two!<br>
<br>
Ruprecht's crazy 'bout taxidermy<br>
And KY Jelly on a rubber glove!<br>
<br>
LAWRENCE<br>
So give him a chance or three,<br>
Let him get to know you<br>
And you'll agree<br>
That Ruprecht's...<br>
All about love.<br>
<br>
Who's the happy chappy with the<br>
ulcerated ear?<br>
<br>
JOLENE<br>
Ruprecht?<br>
<br>
LAWRENCE<br>
Who stays awake all night<br>
hollering out with fear?<br>
<br>
JOLENE<br>
Ruprecht?<br>
<br>
LAWRENCE<br>
Who likes to spend every<br>
Saturday at the abattoir?<br>
Who gets the cattle-prod if he tries<br>
to hump the samovar?<br>
Who likes to save up all his farts<br>
in a Mason jar?'<br>
<br>
You guessed it-<br>
<br>
LAWRENCE/FREDDY/ENSEMBLE<br>
It's Ruprecht,<br>
My buddy Ruprecht-<br>
<br>
LAWRENCE<br>
I like him-<br>
<br>
LAWRENCE/FREDDY/ENSEMBLE<br>
Ruprecht-<br>
<br>
LAWRENCE<br>
And that's about all.<br>
<br>
<br>
