Dick Feller - The Credit Card Song lyrics

rate me

Well, I guess this story must begin<br />

That fateful day a way back when<br />

I decided I should have a credit card<br />

So I filled out this application<br />

Listed all my recommendations<br />

Sent it off in the mail<br />

And in a month or so the mailman brought me my brand new charge-all card<br />

Better than checks, safer than money, and not near as dirty! <br />

<br />

Well it laid around for a couple of days<br />

And finally I thought "What the hay?<br />

Why not see if this thing'll really work!"<br />

So I went down to my favorite store<br />

Picked out three or four shirts or more<br />

A pair of pants and a strip-ed tie<br />

And the man came by and said:<br />

"Yes Sir, cash or charge?"<br />

I said: "Just put it on my credit card<br />

Write that dude up! Ahhh, convenient!"<br />

<br />

Now I put that card away in a drawer<br />

And I never charged one dollar more<br />

Then one day in the mail I got this bill<br />

Typed on a card all full of holes<br />

That says do not staple, bend or fold<br />

Was the astronomical figure of thirty-two hundred dollars and forty-two cents... When! <br />

There's been a mistake! <br />

So I got on the phone... "Hello? Hello?"<br />

<br />

I got Mr. Black and Mr. Brown<br />

And then I got the run-a-round<br />

'Til finally Mr. Green came on the line<br />

I said "Sir, this may be hard to take<br />

But your computer's made a mistake<br />

It says I owe more money than I've ever seen"<br />

And he said "People like you make mistakes<br />

Computers do not lie<br />

Send us the bread. PDQ!"<br />

<br />

Well this had just about done me in<br />

So I grabbed that computer card again<br />

The one with all those holes punched out so nice<br />

And I threw it on the floor and I stomped it twice<br />

And then I whipped out my pocket knife<br />

And punched out a few more holes where there hadn't been no holes before<br />

And I bent it double... <br />

Stapled it across the end... <br />

Drove my car over it... <br />

Stick that up your computer! <br />

<br />

I sent her back in and never heard no more<br />

'Til one day the mailman came to the door<br />

With a special delivery from the charge-all place<br />

Inside was a note from Mr. Green<br />

Said: "We ran your card through our machine<br />

And it tells us that you overpaid your bill! <br />

Enclosed is a check payable to you... <br />

For nine thousand dollars! <br />

We appreciate your business"<br />

<br />

Well I got back on the phone again, called Mr. Green<br />

And he was I, <br />

And I said: "I think there is something you should know"<br />

Then I told him what the computer had done<br />

And I said "Just remember, you're the one... <br />

That told me computer's do not lie<br />

Thank you!