Devo Spice - Lean Christmas lyrics

rate me

Hey! This is Christmas! I hope we don't miss this

My kids have half of Walmart on their wish list

But I'm flat broke so I scrape and I scrounge

All around, hey now, found a quarter in the couch!

"Alright, book of matches for Mommy."

Things are pretty lean this year and I fear

That there may be a real lack of holiday cheer

Unless I come into some money, like if I won the lottery

Or joined a blood bank, and dug into an artery

'Cause right now I just haven't got a dime

Out of work, out of money, and I'm running out of time

And I don't know what to do, man, haven't got a plan

The way it's going our house will be as festive as Iran

Most people shop at Toys R Us or at the mall

I'm at the dollar store and can't afford nothin' at all

I dig deep into my pocket to see what I can find

Excuse me, what can I get for two buttons and a piece of twine?

Hey there's a toy car with some dents

And only three wheels, but it's marked down to ten cents

Now if only I had that much money I'd be set

Guess it's time to raid the fountain to see what I can get

Hey! This is Christmas! I hope we don't miss this

My kids have half of Walmart on their wish list

But I'm flat broke so I scrape and I scrounge

All around, hey now, found a dime in the couch!

"Cool, now I can get my daughter that gumball she's been wanting."

Maybe this won't be so bad after all

I just need to get creative when I deck the halls

Like instead of a tree I'll use that broom over there

And hang some pantyhose by the chimney with care

Outdoor decorations won't be hard

I'll tie a branch on my dog and make him stand in the yard

Poison ivy works as well as mistletoe can

And for dinner we're gonna have a big ol' ham

Sandwich that we'll have to split five ways

And it's gonna have to last for a couple o' days

And the trimmings, yeah, we're gonna have all of 'em

Popcorn balls, potato chips, and M&Ms

I can't afford eggnog or any other perk

But I found a little three month old milk that aught to work

And I think I still have a fruitcake from last year

Around here somewhere, Merry Christmas, dear!

Hey! This is Christmas! I hope we don't miss this

My kids have half of Walmart on their wish list

But I'm flat broke so I scrape and I scrounge

All around, hey now, found a nickel in the couch!

"This is going right to Grandma and Grandpa. I'll tell them to go to the casino and play the nickel slots. Maybe they'll win a dollar."

But then my kid come to me with a list, and I think

That there's no way in Hell I can afford any of this

I say I'm sorry but I'm broke, there's no way that I can swing it

And she says, that's OK, Daddy, Santa Claus will bring it

And I feel my confidence rebound

And know there's no way in Hell I'm gonna let my kids down

'Cause children and family are what it's all about

And besides, what's one more mortgage on the house?

Paperwork filed, rate's locked in

Forty-seven signatures later I begin

When I'm done shopping I'll be paying an amount

For around thirty years so I better make it count

For the girl, a life size walk in doll house

With a robot maid and a butler named Klaus

For the boy, I'll get him a race car bed

One that actually drives and has cool tire tread

For the baby, I'll get him this big pneumatic

Type swing thing with toys, the Neglect-O-Matic(TM)

And the wife, what woman could ask for more

She likes shoes so much, now she owns the damn store

For me, maybe I can finally get

That private jet, nah, maybe I'll just get a Vette

I'm up to my pancreas in debt, but hey

What can I say? It's the American way

Hey! This is Christmas! I hope we don't miss this

My kids have half of Walmart on their wish list

But I'm flat broke so I scrape and I scrounge

All around, hey now, found a penny in the couch!

"OK, I can put this on the train tracks, let a train run over it and give it to my son. Then he can have his own mutant,... squished... portrait of Lincoln.... or something."