Dead Cat Bounce - On The Road lyrics

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<b>On The Road</b> by <i>Dead Cat Bounce</i><br />

Such was the expression of the child

As he bounced across my windscreen

And off the other side.

Well I got the strong impression

For a second that he wasn't so much angry

As incredibly surprised.

As I watched him in my rear view mirror slowly slip away,

I turned to my instructor and I felt I had to say,

Do you think we should reschedule the test?

'Cause I'm starting now to think it might be best.

Either way, I'm pretty sure

You could have taught me clutch control

In a playground that was emptier than this.

Such was the blind panic of the boy scouts

As I backed into the duck pond

In the middle of the green.

Then it became a little clearer

Why the mirror said that objects featured in it

Might be closer than they seem.

As I watched the displaced goldfish flapping vainly on the grass

I smiled at the policeman and I felt I had to ask,

Would a fish theme maybe make this go away?

'Cause I really don't have time for this today.

Besides which how am I supposed to learn to drive

When everywhere I turn there's

Five or six small children getting in the way.

I would later learn that was the moment

The SWAT team was mobilised

And that the car chase that followed

Was openly televised.

In fact I'm told that they

Still use the footage for police training video

And though I've not seen it personally

I've learned that it basically shows

Me and my instructor tearing down the autobahn

Doing ninety in a Mazda with the handbrake on

Ploughing wrecklessly through traffic, cones and trees.

I am Thelma to his terrified Louise

And all the while I got him screaming in my head

That I should probably change up out of second gear,

Check my mirrors, keep my hands at two and ten

And maybe give some thought to turning myself in.

But in spite of everything,

We made it to the border

Though the last two miles was in reverse

Up the hard shoulder.

That old car was dead,

But somehow we'd survived.

We climbed out of the wreck

And solemnly high-fived.

So that's how me and my instructor

Moved to Switzerland.

Opened up a little cafe

In the hinterland.

And though I never got my licence, in the end,

I found something so much better

A brand new, bestest friend.