Dane Cook

Dane Cook - Christ Chex

rate me

I grew up Catholic, Catholic. Every Sunday, every

Sunday my dad made us get up and go to mass and you had

to get there what? Quarter of five in the morning. Ya

know because you wanted good seats. There were so many

things to remember to when you got there, there was

like little moves. Nobody knew the moves. Nobody knew.

Like what was that one? Nobody knew, nobody looked at

each other what is this? Try to make it up as you go.

It was Peace. Peace is when you would shake the hands

of the people around you. And the only reason you knew

peace was coming because the priest would say peace

five times rapid fire. He'd go, "And the peaceful

disciple said 'My peace I leave, my peace I give to

you. As we ate Reese's Pieces with the Lord. And he

said I have a piece of lint in my peaceful EYE!'" But

you know what you were doing while he was doing his

little 'peace' rap? You were looking around for the

people whose hands you were not going to shake. This

was church and you were like 'Naw, f*** that guy.' 'No,

here he comes. No peace be with you. I'm all set. Peace

be with you--*slaps hand* I said I'm all set, I'm doing

my thing. I got a lot of people. PEACE OFF! Peace be

with you--don't let go. You do not let go of me!'I just

saw Jesus' eyes. And then it was like 'snack time'

right in the middle of mass... Yeah, right out of no

where the priest will look down and be like, " LETS

HAVE SOME YUM YUMSSS... I'VE MADE SNACKKSSS."The

crouton-o-Christ. The he was like this and I

got mad because he always kept them like this so I used

to always want to mess with the priest, y'know. When it

was my turn to get in the front of the line, I'd be

like, "Ahh *sticks out tongue and holds out hands* Your

move holy man... choose wisely." I always wanted to

grab the bowl, go home, and add milk. Start your day

out the holy way with Christ Chex. It's a miracle in a

bowl. Open up the box it's like, "Ahhh !" Little

angel flies out. "GOOD MORNING!! LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!

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