never put your hat on the bed, son, never put your hat on the bed 
cuz if your hat's on the bed you might wake up dead 
so don't ya never put ya hat on the bed 
and if you do be sure it's upside down, son, if you do be sure it's upside down 
cuz if there's any doubt, it keeps the luck from runnin' out 
so if you do be sure it's upside down 
never throw a match when it's dry, son, never throw a match when it's dry 
don't you never throw a match cuz the grass might catch 
and burn three counties when it's dry 

always keep an edge on yr knife, son, always keep an edge on yr knife 
cuz a good sharp edge is a man's best hedge against the vague uncertainties of life 
yes, a good sharp edge is a man's best hedge against the uncertain vagaries of life 
but i never could sharpen no knife, like the one who gave the advice 
and I never could sharpen no blade, quite the way he sayed 

yodel-ay 

never sell the old .22, son, never sell the old .22 
cause the old .22's shot a gopher or two 
so don'tcha never sell the old .22 
aim it to the left, a little low, son, aim it to the left, a little low 
cuz the old iron sight fires high and to the right 
so aim it to the left, a little low 
always tip the glass when you pour son, always tip the glass when you pour 
cuz if you don't tip the glass, well the foam, it comes fast 
and runs from the table to the floor 

always put your horse away dry, son, always put your horse away dry 
cuz a hot, wet horse ain't healthy of course 
so always put your horse away dry 
and be sure to thaw the bit when it's cold, son, be sure to thaw the bit when it's cold 
cuz if you don't thaw the bit then your pony's tongue sticks 
to the frozen, metal bridle when it's cold 
never judge a man by his clothes, son, never judge a man by his clothes 
you gotta look through the dirt and, lord, judge him by his work 
don'tcha never judge a man by his clothes