Cledus T. Judd - How Do You Milk a Cow lyrics

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Parody of "How Do You Like Me Now" by Toby Keith (Toby Keith/Chuck Cannon) Tokeco Tunes/Wacissa River Music (admin. by MRBI) (BMI)

New lyrics by Cledus T. Judd/Chris Clark, Cledus Crap Anthems (SESAC)/Of Music, Inc. (SESAC)

Yeah I was always the lazy one,

A Southern Californian,

But I've got some kinfolk on the Mason-Dixon line.

So this summer just for fun

Hopped in my DeLorean

And headed for my uncle's farm for a short time.

I thought that I would be huntin' and fishin'.

I misunderstood him somehow.

So far there's nothin' but chores here to mention.

I didn't mind feedin the sows.

But HOW DO YOU MILK A COW?

How do you milk a cow?

I wasn't in FFA.

This cow must think i'm crazy

Up under it this way.

I'm sittin' here a pullin', but there ain't nothin' comin' out.

Oh E I E I O…

How do you milk a cow?

Yeah I love it here in Tennesse,

But these farmers all make fun of me.

Can't haul much hay in a tiny sports car.

So I got myself a 4 wheel drive,

Learned to spotlight deer at night,

And I've got shearin' sheep right down to an art.

One thing's for sure,

I hate shovelin' manure,

It gets all over my overalls.

Them horses need shoein'

I hear Bessie mooin'.

So I thought maybe I'd ask you all.

HOW DO YOU MILK A COW?

How do you milk a cow?

I think it's safe to say

A man could get arrested for this in LA

This heifer must be empty 'cause she ain't puttin out.

Oh E I E I O,

Tell me how do you milk a cow.

(Spoken)

This song is absolutely an "udder" disaster.

I hope I don't get mad cow diease.

How do you milk a cow?

I no longer care.

I'm gettin sick and tired of smellin' dairy air.

I'm headin' back to Cali

And I'm turnin' in my plow.

Oh E I E I O.

How do you milk a cow?