Buffy Musical Episode

Buffy Musical Episode - I'll Never Tell lyrics

rate me

ANYA<br />

This is the man that I plan to entangle<br />

Isn't he fine?<br />

My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle<br />

Vengeance was mine! <br />

<br />

But I'm out of that biz<br />

The name I made, I'll trade for his<br />

The only trouble is - - <br />

I'll never tell. <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

She is the one<br />

She's such wonderful fun<br />

Such passion and grace<br />

Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight - -<br />

Embrace! Tight embrace! <br />

<br />

I'll never let her go<br />

The love we've known can only grow<br />

There's just one thing that - -<br />

No. I'll never tell. <br />

<br />

ANYA AND XANDER<br />

Cause there's nothing to tell. <br />

<br />

ANYA<br />

He snores <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

She wheezes <br />

<br />

ANYA<br />

Say "housework" and he freezes <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

She eats these skeazy cheeses that I can't describe <br />

<br />

ANYA<br />

I talk; he breezes <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

She doesn't know what pleases<br />

<br />

ANYA<br />

His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe! <br />

<br />

ANYA AND XANDER<br />

The vibe gets kind of scary <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

Like she thinks I'm ordinary <br />

<br />

ANYA<br />

Like it's all just temporary <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

Like her toes are kind of hairy <br />

<br />

ANYA AND XANDER<br />

But it's all very well<br />

Cause, God knows, I'll never tell! <br />

<br />

ANYA<br />

When things get rough, he<br />

Just hides behind his Buffy!<br />

Now look, he's getting huffy<br />

Cause he knows that I know. <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

She clings<br />

She's needy<br />

She's also really greedy<br />

She nev - - <br />

<br />

ANYA<br />

His eyes are beady! <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

This is my verse, hello?<br />

She - - <br />

<br />

ANYA (Spoken)<br />

Look at me! I'm dancing crazy! <br />

<br />

--dancing music--<br />

<br />

ANYA AND XANDER<br />

You know <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

You're quite the charmer <br />

<br />

ANYA<br />

My knight in armor <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

You're the cutest of the Scoobies<br />

With your lips as red as rubies<br />

And your firm, yet supple - - <br />

Tight embrace! <br />

<br />

ANYA<br />

He's swell <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

She's sweller <br />

<br />

ANYA<br />

He'll always be my feller <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

That's why I'll never tell her that I'm petrified <br />

<br />

ANYA<br />

I've read this tale<br />

There's wedding, then betrayal<br />

I know there'll come the day I'll want to run and hide <br />

<br />

ANYA AND XANDER<br />

I lied<br />

I said it's easy<br />

I've tried<br />

But there's these fears I can't quell <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

Is she looking for a pot of gold?<br />

<br />

ANYA<br />

Will I look good when I've gotten old? <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never that successful? <br />

<br />

ANYA<br />

Will I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley? <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

Am I crazy? <br />

<br />

ANYA<br />

Am I dreamin'? <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

Am I marrying a demon? <br />

<br />

ANYA AND XANDER<br />

We can really raise the beam in making marriage a hell... <br />

<br />

So thank God I'll never tell!<br />

I swear that I'll never tell! <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

My lips are sealed <br />

<br />

ANYA<br />

I take the Fifth <br />

<br />

XANDER<br />

Nothing to see<br />

Move it along <br />

<br />

ANYA AND XANDER<br />

I'll never - -<br />

Tell!

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