Breckman Andy - Railroad Bill lyrics
rate meNow Railroad Bill was a hard living man<br />
He used to take his women two at a time<br />
And everyone agreed he was the badest engineer<br />
That ever driven down the Santa Fe line<br />
His name was known from the folks back home<br />
To the tippy top of telegraph hill<br />
And all the little boys when they were sneaking cigarettes<br />
They used to dream about the Railroad Bill<br />
<br />
Well one day Bill was walking along<br />
And he saw a kitten stuck in a tree<br />
When he saw what was the matter he ran to get a ladder<br />
To set that kitty cat free<br />
Bill said no, ain't gonna do it<br />
Ain't gonna climb up no tree<br />
This is a stupid stupid song and no folk singer<br />
Gonna make a fool outa me<br />
<br />
I said one day Bill was walking along<br />
And he saw a kitten stuck in a tree<br />
When he saw what was the matter he ran to get a ladder<br />
To set that kitty cat free<br />
Bill said no, ain't gonna do it<br />
Ain't gonna do what you said<br />
This is a stupid stupid song and as far as I'm concerned<br />
That cat can stay there till it's dead<br />
<br />
I said wait a minute Bill, you can't argue with me<br />
For God's sake I just made you up<br />
I got the pen in my hand, I want you up in that tree<br />
I want that cat unstuck<br />
Bill said no, I hate cats<br />
Ain't gonna climb for no cat<br />
He said why don'tyou have me save a beautiful girl<br />
Who's been tied down to the railroad tracks?<br />
<br />
I said maybe there'll be room in the 8th or 9th verse<br />
But right now I want you up in that tree<br />
I'm the writer, God Damn, I got the pen in my hand<br />
And you're suposed to listen to me<br />
He said you asshole! <br />
Why should I listen to you, you should be listening to me instead<br />
He said I'm a railroad man and if I was real<br />
I'd seperate your face from your head<br />
<br />
You ungreatful brute, I cried, you pushed me too far<br />
I gotta show you I can do as I please<br />
So an earthquake came and it shook the whole terrain<br />
And it brought Railroad Bill to his knees<br />
And then a tidal wave broke and everything got soaked<br />
Bill was almost compleatly washed away<br />
And then a big green monster from the planet Neptune landed<br />
An bit Railroad Bill on the leg<br />
<br />
I got the pen in my hand! <br />
I can do what I want<br />
I'm a bright new young talent on the rise<br />
So get your ass up that tree or I swear you ain't gonna<br />
Get out of my folk song alive<br />
<br />
He said you don't scare me<br />
You might be funny, but you don't scare me<br />
And if you don't leave me alone I'm gonna tell everybody<br />
Where you stole this melody<br />
But before he could speak, his tongue fell out<br />
And he could not make a sound<br />
Suddenly he jumped on top of me and grabbed me by the neck<br />
And pulled me to the ground<br />
And he hit me in the stomach<br />
And he hit me in the face real hard<br />
I think he almost broke my nose<br />
Just then a lightning bolt came outa nowhere<br />
Hit him right between the eyes and killed him instantly<br />
<br />
The cat came down from the tree, had a bowl of warm milk<br />
Went to sleep for the night<br />
Railraod Bill is survived by a wife and three kids<br />
Dear God, I love to write...</
