Benefit - If I Owned a Midget (Midget Named Gordo) lyrics

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Midget,

He's a midget,

Midget,

Mi-mi-mi-mi-midget,

Midget,

He's a midget,

"Hey you guys, WORD!"

Midget,

He's a midget,

Midget,

Mi-mi-mi-mi-midget,

Midget,

"W-w-w-w-word"

"The little man knows all"

Life's got me mad,

But if I had a midget I'd be glad

To watch him jump around on my Nintendo power pad

He'd have a big head, short legs and long torso

The name that I'd give my pet midget is little Gordo

I'd teach him tricks like back flips and side kicks

When company came over he'd preform and get tips

While I'm eatin' at night,

In the kitchen he'd be able,

To get the food scraps that I threw under the table

If my midget was ever bad,

And acted in rage,

Then I'd take him to the bathroom,

And put him in his cage

But if he kept actin' up and really made me sick

I'd hang him upside down, and poke him with a stick

Little Gordo

Would be good, mosta the time though,

He'd like to wear a helmet and run around yelling "hiyo"

I'd take I'm for walks in the park on the weekends

And if he saw other midgets he'd say "can we be friends?"

He'd only need a 3 foot coffin when he was dead,

And he be in the Guinness book for the worlds biggest head

What a funny little fellow,

But don't call him a shrimp,

Or he'll attack your legs cause Gordo's a tough gimp!

He'd have a pogo ball that he'd bounce on for hours,

And dirty little fat head Gordo wouldn't take showers

When Halloween came,

He wouldn't be a chump,

Gettin' all the candy goin' around as a tree stump

Midget,

He's a midget,

Midget,

Mi-mi-mi-mi-midget,

Midget,

He's a midget,

"Hey you guys, WORD!"

Midget,

He's a midget,

Midget,

Mi-mi-mi-mi-midget,

Midget,

"W-w-w-w-word"

"Like a midget at a urinal... I was gonna have to stay on my toes"

Sometimes my friends would chase Gordo with a gun,

It'd be fun,

Because midgets wobble when they run

They're so close to the ground,

And so easy to kick

They're so slow in the head,

And so easy to trick

Gordo could do somersaults,

His special thing

At the fair I would make him enter mud wrestling

Sometimes he wears stilts,

And pretend to be tall

So I'd kick him over,

And then I'd laugh at him fall

Silly little Gordo,

Just be yourself

I'd put wood on his head,

And he'd just be a shelf

He'd do funny little dances,

But that's irrelevant

At the beach Gordo got attacked by pelicans

He had a girlfriend once,

But she was an ogre,

It didn't last long cause he couldn't fuck her sober

Gordo had a problem,

Gordo wet the bed,

So I'd make him wear diapers on his ass and his head

He'd have to clean up his own cage himself,

And if he lost a little weight he'd be Keebler elf

He'd really be somthin',

My mangled little munchkin,

Plus his head would be larger than any big pumpkin

This perfect little fool would make a perfect foot stool,

Sometimes I'd kick him in the head and say "BITCH BE COOL",

I'd have a great life,

I'd be happy I know,

If I only owned a pet midget named Gordo,

Midget,

He's a midget,

Midget,

Mi-mi-mi-mi-midget,

Midget,

He's a midget,

"Hey you guys, WORD!"

Midget,

He's a midget,

Midget,

Mi-mi-mi-mi-midget,

Midget,

"W-w-w-w-word"