<br>
Gaston:<br>
Who does she think she is?<br>
That girl has tangled with the wrong man!<br>
LeFou:<br>
Darn right.<br>
Gaston:<br>
No one says "no" to Gaston!<br>
Dismissed! Rejected! <br>
Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear.<br>
LeFou:<br>
More beer?<br>
Gaston:<br>
What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.<br>
LeFou:<br>
Who, you? Never! Gaston, you've got to pull yourself together.<br>
Lefou:<br>
Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston<br>
Looking so down in the dumps<br>
Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Gaston<br>
Even when taking your lumps<br>
There's no man in town as admired as you<br>
You're ev'ryone's favorite guy<br>
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you<br>
And it's not very hard to see why<br>
No one's slick as Gaston<br>
No one's quick as Gaston<br>
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's<br>
For there's no man in town half as manly<br>
Perfect, a pure paragon!<br>
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley<br>
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on <br>
Lefou and Chorus:<br>
No one's been like Gaston<br>
A king pin like Gaston<br>
LeFou:<br>
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston <br>
Gaston:<br>
As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!<br>
Lefou and Chorus:<br>
My what a guy, that Gaston!<br>
Give five "hurrahs!"<br>
Give twelve "hip-hips!"<br>
LeFou:<br>
Gaston is the best<br>
And the rest is all drips<br>
Chorus:<br>
No one fights like Gaston<br>
Douses lights like Gaston<br>
LeFou:<br>
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!<br>
Bimbettes:<br>
For there's no one as burly and brawny<br>
Gaston:<br>
As you see I've got biceps to spare<br>
LeFou:<br>
Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny<br>
Gaston:<br>
That's right!<br>
And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair<br>
Chorus:<br>
No one hits like Gaston<br>
Matches wits like Gaston<br>
LeFou:<br>
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston<br>
Gaston:<br>
I'm espcially good at expectorating!<br>
Ptoooie!<br>
Chorus:<br>
Ten points for Gaston!<br>
Gaston:<br>
When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs<br>
Ev'ry morning to help me get large<br>
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs<br>
So I'm roughly the size of a barge!<br>
Chorus:<br>
Oh, ahhh, wow!<br>
My what a guy, that Gaston!<br>
No one shoots like Gaston<br>
Makes those beauts like Gaston<br>
LeFou:<br>
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston <br>
Gaston:<br>
I use antlers in all of my decorating!<br>
Chorus:<br>
My what a guy,<br>
Gaston!<br>
 <br>