MOLLY (Spoken)<br>
So what do you do?<br>
<br>
JAKE (Spoken)<br>
I'm an actor...<br>
<br>
MOLLY (Spoken)<br>
Anything I've ever seen? I'm sort of a movie snob.<br>
<br>
JAKE (Spoken)<br>
No, actually I'm in the theatre.<br>
<br>
MOLLY (Spoken)<br>
Oh my god! I love the theatre! Anything I've ever seen?<br>
<br>
JAKE (Spoken)<br>
No... I... don't have a job...<br>
<br>
MOLLY (Sung)<br>
Oh. My. God.<br>
Have you seen Phantom of the Opera?<br>
It's, like, my all time favorite show<br>
<br>
JAKE (Spoken)<br>
Oh yeah?<br>
<br>
MOLLY<br>
It's all about this phantom<br>
And he hangs out at the opera<br>
And it's, like, wicked scary...<br>
<br>
JAKE (Spoken)<br>
Yeah, I know...<br>
<br>
MOLLY<br>
Do you sing really high<br>
'Cause if you sing really high<br>
I bet you'd land that part in no time flat<br>
You could be in that<br>
You'd be great in that<br>
You know something?<br>
You should be in that<br>
<br>
JAKE (Spoken)<br>
You know, it really doesn't work that way. It's a little more complicated than just singing really high. Otherwise Broadway<br>
would just be filled with Castrati!<br>
<br>
MOLLY (Spoken)<br>
What?<br>
<br>
JAKE (Spoken)<br>
Nevermind.<br>
<br>
MOLLY (Sung)<br>
Oh. My. God.<br>
Have you ever seen the musical Cats?<br>
<br>
JAKE (Spoken)<br>
What?<br>
<br>
MOLLY<br>
It's by, like, the very same guy<br>
<br>
JAKE (Spoken)<br>
Yeah, I know...<br>
<br>
MOLLY<br>
It's all about these cats<br>
And this giant frickin' trash<br>
You should be in that<br>
<br>
JAKE<br>
I'd rather die.<br>
<br>
MOLLY<br>
I bet you dance really well<br>
Because you walk like a girl<br>
You have to dance well to be a Cat<br>
You could be in that<br>
You'd be great in that<br>
You know, really<br>
You should be in that<br>
<br>
JAKE (Sung)<br>
No, listen<br>
Believe it or not<br>
Cats isn't held in the highest esteem<br>
What I really want is to originate a part<br>
To craft a role with the creative team<br>
To be the first to dance the combinations<br>
Eligible to be up for all sorts of nominations<br>
I mean, seriously<br>
That's my dream!<br>
<br>
MOLLY<br>
Oh. My. God.<br>
Have you seen the show The One That I Want?<br>
It's, like, the only way you want to get cast!<br>
<br>
JAKE (Spoken)<br>
Is that so?<br>
<br>
MOLLY<br>
You show up and you sing<br>
And they put you on TV<br>
And then Broadway, it's, like, super fast<br>
Just get a gimmick that's cool<br>
You could be Scattin' Danny<br>
Be all "Greased Lightnin'! Skee Dop Skat!"<br>
You could be in that<br>
You'd be great in that<br>
You know something?<br>
You should be in that<br>
<br>
JAKE (Sung)<br>
So, listen<br>
I just remembered, I have a thing<br>
With a friend, I can't believe I forgot<br>
<br>
MOLLY (Spoken)<br>
Uhh...<br>
<br>
JAKE<br>
So, I gotta run. I'm sad to see this end<br>
But you know how friends are<br>
They're like, well, you know!<br>
This guy's emotions, they're really unsteady<br>
I should have left some time ago<br>
And been with him already<br>
So, seriously -- I gotta go!<br>
<br>
MOLLY (Sung)<br>
Oh. My. God.<br>
Have you ever seen the Tony Awards?<br>
<br>
JAKE (Spoken)<br>
Take care.<br>
<br>
MOLLY<br>
You should, like, totally check them out<br>
<br>
JAKE (Spoken)<br>
Great to see ya!<br>
<br>
MOLLY<br>
They're all about the theatre<br>
But they show them on TV<br>
Which makes them WAY better!<br>
<br>
JAKE (Spoken)<br>
What are you talking about!?<br>
<br>
MOLLY<br>
You have to lose 10 pounds<br>
Because they say TV makes you way more fat...<br>
<br>
JAKE (Spoken)<br>
Right... bye.<br>
<br>
MOLLY<br>
You could be in that<br>
You'd be great in that<br>
You know something?<br>
You should be in that<br>
<br>
(Rest is spoken)<br>
<br>
JAKE<br>
Right. Thank you. Gotta go. Bye!<br>
<br>
MOLLY<br>
Oh, that's ok. I'm off to a party.<br>
<br>
JAKE<br>
Oh good. Have fun!<br>
<br>
MOLLY<br>
Yeah, it's at my friend Bernie Telsi's?<br>
<br>
JAKE<br>
The theatrical casting agent?<br>
<br>
MOLLY<br>
He works in theatre? I always thought when he said he was a casting agent, he meant he was a professional papier mache<br>
artist... Huh... Bye!<br>
<br>
[Thanks to jms0927 for lyrics]<br>
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