You're helpless and hopeless<br />
You want to help out the homeless<br />
But you've got problems<br />
You're selfish and worthless<br />
And you have no fucking purpose<br />
You're a cancer causing, cancer having slob<br />
Whoa, Who-oa, Whoa<br />
<br />
There are morals that conflict with orals<br />
That conflict with annals, that believe in angels<br />
Angels are hating on you<br />
Good is the absence of evil<br />
And evil is the absence of good<br />
There is an axis of evil rolling into this neighborhood<br />
With the sound of gun shots<br />
Bang! Bang! Bang! <br />
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa<br />
<br />
It was then that I found I am vampire<br />
I have fangs fucking 15 inches long<br />
And the sanguinary sweetness of stealing someones blood<br />
Feels so good I am compelled to sing this song<br />
At night when I retire to my coffin, to sleep for a hundred years or more<br />
All you people that I know will have died long ago<br />
And your children will have died 10 years before<br />
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa