Amateur Transplants - Northern Birds lyrics

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This is a public service announcement for all men.

If you go to Bolton

If you go to Manchester

Or crewe

Newcastle, or Scarborough

York, or Scunthorp, Branford, Barnsley too

or Grimsby

Listen up to what we have to say

Northern birds are lazy ugly whores who smell of burgers

So dont have too much to drink

or you might fuck one

and end up getting aids

Theres nothing fun

To be found off the M1

Northern birds are lower class

Slags who take it up the arse

They're in the sack

after one cider and black

but they're fucking awful rides

and your dick won't touch the sides

Da-da-da-da-da-da

da-da-da-da

Northern Birds

Da-da-da-da-da

If you really have to

Go up north then follow our advice

Fight away the women

Or you'll find yourself with Pubic lice

And herpes

Your much better staying in the South

Northern Birds

are desperate ugly hippos dressed in Burberry

With a peanut for a brain

And an accent that makes you want to die

Now you've been warned

Theyre all physically deformed

Northern birds

are all obese

and theyre riddled with disease

Try to escape

Northern sex is worse than rape

Stay down safe and mark my words

Stear well clear of northern birds

Northern birds

Northern birds