Allan Sherman - One Hippopotami lyrics

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One Hippopotami<br />

One hippopotami cannot get on a bus,<br />

Because one hippopotami is two hippopotamus.<br />

And if you have two goose, that makes one geese.<br />

A pair of mouse is mice. A pair of moose is meese.<br />

A paranoia is a bunch of mental blocks.<br />

And when Ben Casey meets Kildaire, that's called a paradox.<br />

When two minks fall in love, with all their heart and soul,<br />

You'll find the plural of two minks is one mink stole.<br />

Singulars and plurals are so different, bless my soul.<br />

Has it ever occurred to you that the plural of "half" is "whole"?<br />

A bunch of tooth is teeth. A group of foot is feet.<br />

And two canaries make a pair--they call it a parakeet.<br />

A paramecium is not a pair.<br />

A parallelogram is just a crazy square.<br />

Nobody knows just what a paraphernalia is.<br />

And what is half a pair of scissors, but a single sciz?<br />

With someone you adore, if you should find romance,<br />

You'll pant, and pant once more, and that's a pair of pants