J C Cohen
Your rating:
Listen all you children to my sad refrain<br /> About a subway conductor on a runaway train<br /> Squeezing people into cars, he won his fame<br /> And John Charles Cohen was the great man's name<br /> <br /> J. C. Cohen, what a great conductor<br /> IRT that's a subway line<br /> And if you gotta travel uptown<br /> He's a greater conductor than Leonard Bernstein<br /> <br /> 'Twas on a Sunday in the summer and from everywhere<br /> People planned to take a subway to the World's Fair<br /> A half a million people tried to push and jar<br /> All of them determined to get in one car<br /> <br /> But the IRT depended on their finest men<br /> J. C. Cohen could pack a subway like a sardine can<br /> He pushed the people up and back and 'round about<br /> He squeezed so many in he squeezed the engineer out<br /> <br /> J. C. Cohen, what a great conductor<br /> How he'd moan, step to the rear<br /> J. C. Cohen, he really had a problem<br /> On a subway train without an engineer<br /> <br /> J. C. tried to get into the engineer's place<br /> But when he look inside the cab, he saw a strange man's face<br /> A half pint drunk with a full pint bottle<br /> He emptied out the bottle and he yelled, full throttle<br /> <br /> They passed Columbus Circle doing 82<br /> A couple minutes later they were under Bronx Zoo<br /> J. C. shuddered and he said, "I guess<br /> This used to be a local but it's now an Express"<br /> <br /> J. C. Cohen, what a great conductor<br /> Kept his head when everyone was tense<br /> He said, "When we pass the city limits<br /> Everybody pays another fifteen cents"<br /> <br /> J. C. said, "We're heading north, my friends<br /> But not a man alive knows where the subway ends"<br /> The train went under Albany at 90 flat<br /> And Governor Rockefeller hollered, "What was that?"<br /> <br /> A lady said to J. C. Cohen with indignation<br /> "If this is Albany then you have passed my station<br /> So either you should take me back to fifty ninth Street<br /> Or ask one of these gentlemen to give me his seat"<br /> <br /> J. C. Cohen, what a great conductor<br /> J. C. Cohen noticed something odd<br /> When he saw lobsters on the roadbed<br /> He said, "I got a feeling we're beneath Cape Cod"<br /> <br /> Oh well, the train kept speeding to the north my friends<br /> Finally came to where the tunnel ends<br /> When they came up to the surface from the long, long hole<br /> They were twenty seven inches from the great North Pole<br /> <br /> J. C. hollered, "Everybody out<br /> This is the end of the line beyond the shadow of a doubt"<br /> They went out to get some fresh air and before they took a whiff<br /> Cohen and all the passengers were frozen stiff<br /> <br /> J. C. Cohen, what a great conductor<br /> Bless his soul, he ran out of luck<br /> J. C. Cohen, he was really frozen<br /> And he had to be brought home in a Good Humor truck<br /> <br /> When they told Mrs. Cohen that she'd lost her man<br /> She said, "Must you interrupt me when I'm playing Pan?"<br /> Then she said to her partner, Mrs. R. J. Rosen<br /> "Cohen was a lovely husband but he's no good frozen"<br /> <br /> Then she went to her little boy and took his hand<br /> And she said, "I'm going to take you out to Disneyland<br /> So Melvin, little darling, don't you weep or wail<br /> 'Cause you got another papa on the monorail"<br /> Got another papa on the monorail
Share your thoughts
No comments here yet... Be the first to give your opinion!