Allan Sherman - Grow, Mrs. Goldfarb lyrics

rate me

Grow, Mrs Goldfarb, fatter, fatter<br />

Pile the potatoes on your platter<br />

Listen to me, 'cause I'm your hubby<br />

I just adore you plump and chubby<br />

<br />

I got a letter from the state, dear<br />

You're gonna need a license plate, dear<br />

My little elephant joke come true<br />

Chew, Mrs Goldfarb, chew<br />

<br />

There is so much more of you<br />

More to adore of you, 'cause you're not slender<br />

In your white dress, you're a doll<br />

Big as the Taj Mahal, in all its splendor<br />

<br />

When you're in department stores<br />

Don't use revolving doors, you might get stuck, dear<br />

When you use the telephone<br />

Go in the booth alone and lots of luck, dear<br />

<br />

You had for breakfast, two pounds bacon<br />

Three dozen eggs, one coffee cake<br />

And then you had something really awful<br />

Four kippered herrings on a waffle<br />

<br />

Nine English muffins, one baked apple<br />

Boston cream pie, Philadelphia scrapple<br />

Seventeen bowls of Crispy Crunch<br />

Then you said, "What's for lunch?"<br />

<br />

Sweetheart, you are giant size<br />

You are Lane Bryant size, my darling Myrtle<br />

Last Thanksgiving I was thrilled<br />

You ate so much, you killed, your living girdle<br />

<br />

Have another dozen shrimp<br />

My lovely little blimp, don't count a calorie<br />

I have just received a stub<br />

I owe the Diner's Club, a whole year's salary<br />

<br />

Eat, Mrs Goldfarb, daily, nightly<br />

Eat, though your chair is bending slightly<br />

Love of my life, I'm glad I found you<br />

Each day I take a walk around you<br />

<br />

I can't forget when we got married<br />

Over the threshold I got carried<br />

No other bride would be so sweet<br />

Eat, Mrs Goldfarb, eat