Allan Sherman - Chim Chim Cheree lyrics

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Parody of "Chim Chim Cheree" by Dick Van Dyke,<br />

From the movie "Mary Poppins") <br />

Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim-chim-cheree;<br />

Those are three words that don't make sense to me.<br />

But I'm used to words that don't make sense to me,<br />

From all those commercials I see on TV.<br />

When I see an ad that can't be understood<br />

I know that the product has got to be good;<br />

Those words may be crazy, but I think they're great,<br />

Like sodium acetylsalicylate.<br />

(Sodium acetylsalicylate!) <br />

I wake up each morning a most happy man,<br />

I cover my Pic-O-Pay with Fluoristan;<br />

I add Hexachlorophene, 'cause it's so pure,<br />

And then GL-70, just to make sure.<br />

Then I take a shower, but never alone;<br />

I'm in there with Dermasil and Silicone.<br />

I brush Vitrol-D on my Lanolin wave,<br />

And I sharpen my Boo-boop, and use it to shave!<br />

(He sharpens his Boo-boop, and that's how he shaves!) <br />

There's Tufsyn, and Retsyn, and Acrylan too,<br />

And Marfac and Melmac and what else is new?<br />

There's Orlon and Korlan, and there's Accutron,<br />

And Teflon, and Ban-Lon, and so on and on.<br />

These wonderful words spin around in my brain;<br />

Each one is a mystery I cannot explain.<br />

Like what does that Blue Magic whitener do --<br />

Does it make blue things white, or make white things blue?<br />

(His blue things are white, and his white things are blue!) <br />

My Fastback has Wide-Track and Autronic Eye,<br />

Which winks when a cute little Volvo goes by;<br />

My tank full of Platformate starts with a roar,<br />

But when I try to stop, it goes two miles more.<br />

I measure my breathing with my Nasograph,<br />

It's nice, but oh my, how it hurts when I laugh.<br />

My chair is upholstered in real Naugahyde;<br />

When they killed that nauga, I sat down and cried.<br />

(He moved to Chicaga when that nauga died!) <br />

I'm giving a party next Saturday night<br />

And here are the friends that I'm going to invite:<br />

The giant who lives in my washing machine,<br />

That other nice giant, who's jolly and green.<br />

The tiger who causes my gas tank to flood,<br />

That handsome white knight who is stronger than crud;<br />

The man with the eyepatch, who sells me my shirts<br />

And that nut who flies into the front seat for Hertz!<br />

(That daring young nut who goes flying for Hertz!) <br />

I've lived all my life in this weird wonderland;<br />

I keep buying things that I don't understand,<br />

'Cause they promise me miracles, magic, and hope,<br />

But, somehow, it always turns out to be soap.<br />

And they might as well be Chim-Chiminey Cheree!<br />

(Those words all could be Chim-Chiminey Cheree!) <br />

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