Alexipharmic - Kings lyrics

rate me

You know the guy who gets his beauty tips from Maxim

And talks to his bros before he takes any action

And claims that your passion trumps his need for sex

But leaves you if you don't put out the day after next

He's got his ego on his chest, hat with the sticker on

Standin on a chessboard are the only bigger pawns

Loves nothing more than nut pumping giving orders

And thinks a big man but he packs a roll of quarters

Makes narcissism look humble by inspection

And gets off by whacking it in front of his reflection

Sensitive when you're alone, an asshole in public

Only you know what he means to say and doesn't

Jealous when you hurt his pride by talking to the other guys

Only lie he told you's when he said he never lies

He cries in your arms when you say it ain't workin

And tells you that you never understood him as a person

He's a great big douche, but you love him just the same

Because you're afraid of finding any change

You know the girl who gets her beauty tips from Cosmo

And leads you on at first then wants to take it slow

And if you don't slow your roll will leave you in an instant

Back together with her ex though she claims that she isn't

Drives a better car than you can ever afford

While you plug along bored in an 86 Ford

And claims that masturbation's something only for hos

Til you find a wardrobe stowed with lube and dildos

Slaps your mouth shut if you ever mention breakup

And goes two face with no makeup to make her face up

And claims trust is something that you earn in the end

Then you walk in on her in your bed with your friend

Hot and she knows it and acts like she don't

And questions your manhood when she says that she won't

She walks all over you and you worship that ground

No hope for your lost balls, they'll never be found

She's a great big witch, but you love her just the same

Because you're afraid of finding any change

You know the kid that sat in the back of the class

And was shy to grab ass at the middle school dance

And he rarely took a chance out of fear of rejection

And turned to words and music just to find some protection

A nice guy that always had girls as friends

Never as girlfriends, though he would pretend

Fashion tips from Goodwill, chivalry from a single mom

So if he didn't treat women well then she would break his arm

Daydreamed about meeting a queen, but missed the obvious

Common sense to be her king he simply needed confidence

Until that day came, he came on his own

Rock hard enough to turn Medusa to stone

But now he's grown, now he's boned, now he sits upon a throne

Overcompensating for what he's never owned

He wonders if his lovers will ever be his friend

And he's become the asshole he's always condemned

He's an imposter, and it seems he'll stay the same

Because he's afraid of finding any change