AEHoF - Jim The Monkey lyrics

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Oh I had a monkey,<br />

Who's name, it was Jim.<br />

Only problem was he like to<br />

Drink loads of vodka and gin.<br />

<br />

Well, it all began at the circus,<br />

When Jim the monkey was but a lad.<br />

His trainer gave him a whiskey<br />

And from that day in he was had.<br />

<br />

Jim drank three pints a day then,<br />

I didn't know where to begin.<br />

So I took all of his tonic and water<br />

And chucked away all his gin.<br />

<br />

Well, from that day forth I saw nothing<br />

(At least for two years and one day)<br />

And then when I opened the front door<br />

I thought that the milkman was gay.<br />

<br />

Well, I looked down on the ground then,<br />

And saw something by the side of the door.<br />

I turned the corner and what did I see<br />

But Jim's small and furry paw.<br />

<br />

I picked him up, carried him inside<br />

Where I lay him down on the setee.<br />

And there sat me and my poor Jimmy,<br />

Him curled up on my knee.<br />

<br />

We spent the whole evening together<br />

Talking about the good old days.<br />

Jim told me of his struggle with drugs<br />

And how he'd turned back to his old ways.<br />

<br />

And he passed away in my arms then,<br />

On that cold winters night.<br />

Poor little chap on vodka and gin<br />

Couldn't keep up the good fight.<br />

<br />

He is in a better place now,<br />

With monkeys and vodka and gin.<br />

In a place they like to call heaven<br />

(In Jim's case a box in a bin)<br />

<br />

I spend the long nights by myself now<br />

Where cold and hunger eat away within.<br />

Now I've finished the vodka,<br />

I think I'll start on the gin.