Bo Burnham - What's Funny Lyrics

[SPOKEN]

My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish.
Uh, she used to like to dress up as herself and then act like a fuckin' bitch all the time.

[VERSE]

My show is a little bit silly and a little bit pretentious
Like Shakespeare's willy or Noam Chomsky wearing a strap on.
It's also a little bit gay and a little bit offensive
Like Thanksgiving Day or Noam Chomsky wearing a strap on.

So put your cell phones to vibrate,
And put your vibrators to cell phone mode.

Welcome to the show it goes a little bit like this,
Joke... exactly.
Welcome to my flow it blows a little bit like this,
With a rap and a dis then a
Swift rap on the wrist a rap and a kiss,
Like Hershey's wrappin' a Kiss
Shit, I got a show that'll test ya kid
And then ask one question and the question is,

[CHORUS]

What's funny?
[REPEAT 6X]

Funny fu-funny.

What's funny?
[REPEAT 6X]

Funny oh yeah.

[VERSE]

Humour is often linked to shared experience.
Like a guy gets up and says,
"Have you noticed the public restrooms have really inefficient hand dryers?"
Oh my god, yes I have, ha ha ha,
A really good point, they should fix that.
It's good to know that somebody finally gets me,

Because my wife divorced me which unconsciously forced me
To lose all sense of self.
So it's nice to think about hand dryers
And not that cheating whore,
Because stand-up comedy is actually pretty easy.

If you're an Asian comic just get up and say,
"My mother's got the weirdest fuckin' accent"
Then just do, a Chinese accent,
'cause everybody laughs at the Chinese accent,
Because they privately thought that your people were laughable,
And now you have given them the chance to express that in public.

Ah yeah if you're a musical comic
Just give them a really weird voice inflection,
Then take a Viagra
And slap 'em with a rock hard misdirection.

[CHORUS]

What's funny?
[REPEAT 6X]

Funny fu-funny.

(Tourette's!)

What's funny?
[REPEAT 6X]

Funny oh

[VERSE]

And the audience says when I was a baby,
Maybe I laughed at people jiggling keys.
Now I'm older and bolder
And just get mad 'cause I noticed that the keys are to a Hummer.

Fuck my life, I don't fuck my wife,
So fuck my wife and fuck my life,
And my son is gay, but not sitcom gay.

Daughter's a whore like another girl who used to be her mother,
But the marriage made her Miss Mary Americana,
I wanna a teen without screaming prima-donna,
But the radical feminists made my wife a man. Oh.

And if I die happy, the situation
Will be auto-erotic asphyxiation.
I hate my life and it hates me back,
And my friend is black,
But I don't know what to call him,
so I just call him... "What up Jamal?"
(Even though his name is Steve)

I hate my job I hate my life,
Hate my kids I hate my wife.
Jews would know I do it,
Judas beat me to it.
I'm slowly slipping into a solipsistic coma,
And I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to fuck me!

[CHORUS]

What's funny?
[REPEAT 6X]

Funny fu-funny.

(POP! It's a boy!)

What's funny?
[REPEAT 6X]

Funny, yeah.
Hopefully this.

Thanks to Bo Burnham for correcting these lyrics
 

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