Bo Burnham - Ironic Lyrics

My dog's stomach was very upset, so I put him in the car and we went to the vet

And on our way to the vet, I killed a cat

I say, isn't that ironic?

I adopted a child from overseas, to rescue him from child labor factories

And on his very first birthday, we went to Build-A-Bear workshop

Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C

A waterpark is burned to the ground, and a tow truck is broken down

I always used to cry when I laughed then I was raped by a clown



I was watching Al Gore on CNN, he was talking and talking and talking and then out of boredom my pet polar bear shot himself

I dated an animal rights activist, and one day she got really pissed because I was eating veal that was wrapped in pita (PETA) bread Pita? Fuck it

Isnt that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C



Yeah, I'm a stand-up comic and I always sit and slouch




And I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile, uncle's pull out couch



Ironic I-R-O-N-I-C


Yeah, if everyday you play the board game RISK you've probably never taken a risk in your life

And Monopoly has far from a stranglehold on the board game market

And a little kid died from suffocation when he choked on a game piece from operation

And I can't grow a beard, that ones not ironic, that ones just sad



Bob Barker got all of my pets pregnant

My grandfather had Alzheimer's and one day we were-
 

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