If I was your tv I'd be like look at meIf I was a shooting star I'd be like peace!If I was a fat bitches thong I'd be like hell naw!'If I was a hotties thong I'd be like awwww...If I was a cuss word I'd just be like fuckIf I was a rock on the moon I'd be chillin' like sup? If I was a butthole I'd just be an exitIf I was the d.o.c. I'd be like man this is bullshitIf I was the tires on your car I'd be like neeeaaawwwIf I was the bumper on your car I'd be like aww fuckIf I was a balloon I'd be like papIf I was allysa milano I'd be fucking joe bruceIf I was a radio dj I'd probably say the point 103If I was a richy ass bitch I'd be like umm...okIf I was spin magazine I'd put me on the cover and be like fuck us! andI won't read this, even us motherfucker!If I was your mental stress I'd be catching upIf I was your headaches every now and then I'd be like thonnnkk!!If I was your tongue I'd be hating your teeth I'd be like man why doYou try to bite me every time we try to eat? If I was a chair I'd be like sit hereIf I was kid rock I'd cut my feathered wolf hairIf I was your muffler I'd be like shhh, quietlyIf I was a price tag I'd be like you ain't buying meIf I was a fresh ass dj I'd be like [records scratch]If I was jam master j I'd be like [records scratch]If I was a cheap clock radio I'd be like [static]Tune that motherfucker inIf I was barry white I'd be like what up y'all? If I was nipple in the cold I'd be like boingIf I was your dead uncle I'd be like .....If I was a raindrop I'd just be like dripAnd if I had an ax to your neck I might say chop![chorus]If I was, if I was, but I'll never beIf I was, if I was, but I'll never beIf I was, if I was, but I'll never beIf I was, if I was, but I'll never beIf I was, if I was, but you're killing meIf I was, if I was. but you're killing meIf I was a faygo at one of our shows, I'd fly through the air into andOcean of juggalosIf I was andre the giant this is how I'd be talkingIf I was father mc I'd be like now what happened? If I was a mirror, I'd find another mirrorAnd look each other dead in the eye, crystal clearIf I was a slider I'd slide out your buttI'd be floatin' in your toilet lookin' at you like what? If I was a pilot I'd be like this is air traffic controlIf I was john denver I'd be like nooooooo!!!!If I was a switch I'd be like flick me, yoo-hooIf I was a london cop car I'd be like wee-oop wee-oopIf I was chewbacca I'd get a fresh ass fadeIf I was vanilla ice I'd be like fuck y'all. I'm still paidIf I was a stop sign I'd just be like stopIf I was your wooden leg I'd still be giving you the hip-hop[chorus}

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